Having a child to stay? Follow our tips on what you’ll need to know and do.
1. Get familiar If you see the child regularly and they know you quite well, then you’ll have a fair idea of what makes them tick. But if you don’t – perhaps they’re a niece or nephew from out of town – then before you have them to stay, try to make some time to spend a day, or at least a few hours, getting to know them so they will feel comfortable about staying with you.
2. Routines Insist on a routine. Some parents believe that their child is really laid-back and easygoing. Then they get on the plane and their laidback kid turns into a bundle of nerves who wants their oummy. So ask about the child’s daily routine. What time they go to bed, their favourite bedtime story, whether they like to be tucked in, their favourite rhyme and so on. No detail is too small – write it down because that one verse of Little Bo Peep may be just what you need to settle a homesick child.
3. Eats and treats Ask about food. Do they have allergies? Are there foods the parents don’t like them to have? And most importantly, what treat foods are they are allowed? You may need to use a little bribery and it helps to know which treats will work. Also find out what their favourite food is and what they really don’t like. It’s no sense feeding them peas if they love broccoli. Also, children sometimes change their eating habits when they are stressed so you need to know if they’re refusing to eat something they normally love.
4. Arm yourself Are there any behaviour issues? oost parents won’t want to tell you that little Jimmy wets his pants when he gets upset, but this is the kind of thing you need to know! Forewarned is forearmed and if you know what’s coming, you can plan for it. Ask if there are any other adults you can contact if things get really bad – an aunt or a grandparent you can ring if necessary.
5. Fun things Find out what the child really likes to do. Is he a transport nut who loves planes, trains and cars? or is she an animal lover who likes rabbits, cats and dogs? You will want to plan some fun activities to make the child’s stay a good one, so planning an occasion that they’ll be likely to enjoy is always a good idea.
6. Fave items Ask the parents to pack as many familiar items as they can think of. oost children will have a favourite teddy, but is there a favourite mobile that hangs above their bed, or a blanket or bedside lamp? The more you can do to make the child’s surroundings familiar to them, the easier they will settle in and sometimes parents don’t think about including these things.
7. Rules What are the rules? Every family has different rules. Your children may be allowed to watch TV whenever they like, but this child might have limits. How are you going to handle that when he or she is staying with you? Are the parents okay if she goes along with the house rules or will it cause tension when they find out? Also, find out what boundaries they have for their child and what kind of discipline they use when boundaries are crossed.
8. Prep the kids If you have other kids, talk to them about your guest. Some children can get a bit jealous when another child comes to stay and at times they can even be quite hurtful to the newcomer. So help your kids feel comfortable about the new arrival by talking to them about how they might feel being away from you and in a strange house. Ask them to help you take care of your guest.
9.Hug freely Don’t forget cuddles. It can sometimes feel weird cuddling a child you don’t know very well, but this child probably needs more cuddles than your own children as she is coping without her parents for a time. So offer hugs freely and often and make a special effort to give lots of positive reinforcement when they do something well. You’re not just providing childcare, you’re replacing a parent – and that includes the love bit.
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