Getting your child into a regular bedtime routine

It’s recommended that preschool children get 11 hours sleep a night and a Californian study of 8000 children aged nine months to four years found that a regular bedtime consistently pointed to higher child development. Scores for receptive and expressive language, literacy and early maths abilities were higher in children whose parents reported having rules about what time their child goes to bed.

So it can be worthwhile putting some effort into making bedtime something you both look forward to, rather than a constant source of conflict. Here are some tips:

Establish a daily routine for getting to bed and a consistent bedtime for your child – and stick to it. Don’t take little ones out with you if you’re not sure they can go to bed at the same time as every other night. Better to get a babysitter and ensure their routine isn’t broken. distracting for an inquisitive toddler to know that, just outside the door, the rest of the family is having fun.
Remind your child that staying in bed after lights-out is a good thing to do. And should they do this, make sure you remember to praise them in the morning and perhaps give them a reward. It’s easy to forget to reward kids’ good behaviour and focus only on bad behaviour.
If your child hops out of bed, don’t get angry or fi nd it cute or funny that they have appeared in the lounge. Show no emotion – simply pick them up and put them back in bed, reminding them that staying in bed is good behaviour.
If your child cries out or makes a fuss after you have put them to bed, wait for a few minutes, then go in to check. Be firm, emotionless and comforting, remind them of your expectations and then leave. If your child cries out repeatedly, wait a little longer between each check, but never lose your temper. The idea is that they get bored with the behaviour, not that you get angry.
Tell your child to go to sleep and that if they stay quiet you will come back to check them in a few minutes. And do so, rewarding them again for staying quiet.
If your child gets out of bed in the middle of the night and climbs into yours, then you have to get up and put them firmly back in their own bed. Do not roll over and go back to sleep because you will send your child the message that it is okay to leave their bed whenever they like.
Do not have TVs or computers in your child’s bedroom. The bedroom should be a place to relax and sleep, not to be entertained.
If your child is finding it diffi cult to get to sleep, spend some time with them encouraging them to relax. Take deep breaths, close their eyes and imagine a favourite place, such as a beach the family visits or a park, and get them to imagine swimming or throwing a ball. You may have to do this for a few nights to get them used to the idea of encouraging their mind to relax.
If your child is being looked after by someone else at night, ask them to stick to the routine, especially if it has taken you a while to establish it. once it’s broken, you may have to put all that work into it again.
Finally, realise when you are getting up for the 10th time that night to put your child back in his bed that if you stick with it and don’t use anger, he will eventually get with the programme and will be set for the rest of his childhood. And, of course, he will be getting the best possible rest to encourage learning and growth.