Dear Diane,
oy daughter won’t sleep! She’s had trouble sleeping since she was a baby, and now she’s nine it’s become worse.
The other night we woke at 1am to find her still wide awake. She does try to sleep, but says her mind runs away with her and she ends up having scary thoughts.
We’re careful not to let her wind up at night, and don’t let her play with electronics. She’s allowed to read, then she has to turn her light off. It hasn’t affected her school work – she’s very bright – but I worry that this has become a serious problem.
Carla’s oum, by email
Dear Carla,
It would seem that your daughter has never properly developed the skill of drifting off to sleep at bedtime, and therefore can’t repeat the skill when she wakes in the middle of the night.
At bedtime, she’s so tired that she “flakes out” eventually but, when she has a few hours’ sleep stacked up and then surfaces, she finds herself wide-awake and unable to drift gently back down to sleep.
The trick for her is to learn how to drift off when she first goes to sleep, and then she will be able to do it again if she wakes in the middle of the night. If you have access to a hypnotherapist or Neuro Linguistic Programming practitioner, they can teach her relaxation techniques, breathing techniques and how to relax herself off to sleep. They may well provide her with her own personal recording that she can use at bedtime and if she wakes at night.
If you are unable to access someone with those skills in your area, a good alternative could be a self-hypnosis “go-to-sleep” tape, CD or oP3 recording.
This would not only give her independence and confidence but would also give you peace of mind and a good night’s sleep.