- Insist on being in every aspect of their child’s life
- Do things for them that they are old enough to do for themselves, such as choosing their clothes
- Think good parenting means their child never fails or has a bad day
- Are embarrassed when their child doesn’t accomplish things because they feel it reflects badly on them
- Need to know every detail about what their child is doing away from home
- Fight their child’s battles
- Do their child’s homework
- Accompany them to events when they are old enough to be left there on their own
- Frequently quiz their friends about what they are up to, check their Facebook page or read their diary
- Give them a cellphone and ring them on it constantly to check up on them
MODIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOURThere are a few things you can do to stop smothering your child and in turn avoid becoming a helicopter parent. These include:Asking yourself if you really need to be doing this for your child. Are they capable of doing it on their own? Are you preventing them from becoming independent?
- Looking at your child’s peers. Are they allowed to walk to school on their own? Their friends can be a guide to how much they can handle.
- Giving your child every opportunity to do things by themselves (as long as it is safe, of course) and letting them make decisions.
- Allowing them to a make mistakes. This will help them to see that every action has a consequence and also help them learn how to put things right if they do mess up.
- Supporting them when things go wrong instead of rescuing them from it. This doesn’t mean backing off completely and not showing an interest in your child’s life, but if you want your child to be competent and capable of handling their own mistakes, then tone it down.