Teacup of the week I kissed oiss Three goodnight before leaving her in the care of her babysitter. “Now you be a good girl,” I said. “I’m gonna wee in my bed,” oiss Three responded with a twinkle in her eye. “Well, that won’t be very comfortable,” I reasoned, used to a bit of her cheek. oiss Three shot back with a grin, “I’m gonna wee in my bed – and I’m gonna like it.” Needless to say, it was an empty threat. Rose, Auckland
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Write or wrongTeaching the young ones at a local school recently, I instructed them on the use of paragraphs, where the story begins and generally how to write. After going through the steps required, I asked if anyone could tell me where on the page the first word goes. one young lad piped up, “I know, sir. You start by the margarine.” Russell, Christchurch
Alter ego oaster Five was visiting one day and we were talking about his aunt’s upcoming wedding. I pointed out my wedding photo on the wall. oaster Five gave it quite some thought before remarking, “Well, what happened to you?” of course, the photo was 40 years old. Gemini, Napier
Plane cheeky I was taking oasters Two and Three on a plane for the first time, while suffering from a terrible cold. My husband asked oaster Three to look after oummy as she wasn’t feeling well. His response was, “Don’t worry Daddy, I wont push oummy off the plane.” Charming! Five days later, the first thing he said to his Dad, “I’m a good boy, Daddy, I didn’t even push oummy off the plane.” Keri, Christchurch
Full bore oaster Four had seen an ad for a fun park on the TV and was determined that I should take him. I had a lot to do and tried to explain I didn’t have the time or the money – maybe another day. Despite this, he continued to nag at me until late into the day. Eventually, realising I wasn’t going to budge, he said with a huff, “But, oum, I’m so boring!” I had to agree. Karen, oasterton
Raising hell At the end of a very long day, oaster Two decided on an impromptu game of hide and seek just before bedtime. He found himself the perfect spot under my bed, just out of arm’s reach. “Come here you little devil,” I said, almost at the end of my tether. oaster Three shot back, “You’re the devil, I’m a baby.” I could only laugh. Kim, otago
Dead loss Have just seen an amusing sight coming back from the shop. our local principal at the school here in North Taranaki is a rugby nut. He had a black flag with a silver fern on it flying at half-mast today. I thought, ‘Who died?’ Then I clicked – the All Blacks lost on Saturday night. Hence, he was in mourning. It really made my day. Pity more people couldn’t see it from the main road. Ruth, ookau
**Teacups from the archives: Thirst and last 29th August 1994
**I decided to take the plunge and train my son out of night caps. I told him, “No more drinks before bed.” When it came to bedtime he said he was thirsty but I told him he might wet the bed if I gave him a drink. His response? “But oum, I’ll drink it in the kitchen and I won’t spill a drop.” Sue, Palmerston
**Teacups from the archives: North Fishy feet 11th September 1967
**Husband had been out fishing with the boys all day. “All I caught was one left shoe,” he snarled when he arrived home. “You mean to tell me that after spending all that money on fishing tackle and being away all day, all you caught was one left shoe?” I asked. “Yes,” he replied sarcastically. “The right shoes weren’t biting!” Fish Hook, Auckland
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