The world of weddings has come a long way in the 20 years since I tied the knot. If anyone had even suggested the idea of buying presents online to be delivered – all wrapped and ready – to a bride and groom’s home, I’d have looked at them in utter astonishment. Back then the concept of the worldwide web was just a vague thing my loved one muttered about occasionally while reading computer magazines. But my, how things have changed!
GoING oNLINE
Not only do today’s betrothed couples often have online wedding registries, many actually have a whole website devoted to the ins and outs of their big day.
In lots of ways this is a good thing. It enables them to clearly communicate information about the event and the venue. However, even if you design and print it yourself, nothing takes the place of a formal invitation, sent by mail. Addressing it carefully by hand can add a nice classic touch too.
REGISTRIES
Generally, it isn’t considered good manners to include the actual list of gifts on your registry along with the invitation, although you can certainly refer to the store where it is kept. While many older people have embraced the internet with enthusiasm, there are still some who don’t have access, or choose not to use it, so do bear that in mind when using online registries.
CHoICES
It’s important to give guests a choice about using – or not using – the registry option. And to make sure you’ve chosen items to fit all levels of generosity. In these straitened times, a lot of guests may prefer to shop for themselves – maybe even buying gifts in sales – so, of course, you must never forget the basic sentiment of gift-giving: it’s the thought that counts.
ooNEY
This is a tough one! It’s certainly becoming more common for couples to ask for money, especially if they’ve lived together for a while and have a well set-up home.
Some brides and grooms even provide guests with bank account details for online payments, but many guests will still find this a little uncomfortable – or even unacceptable. It’s most important you make it clear that while you would appreciate a monetary gift, it’s not mandatory.
So WHAT Do CoUPLES WANT?
Paula Wallace of Wallace Cottons has noticed a big trend towards giving quality bedding in neutral colours. If you are feeling particularly generous, give a luxurious goose down duvet inner and pillows, or a duck down mattress topper to feather their nest, she suggests.
At Auckland department store Smith & Caughey’s, the recession doesn’t seem to have dampened people’s gift-giving spirits. Jeanette Russell, who runs the store’s gift registry, reports that brides and grooms are still choosing – and receiving – beautiful china and crystal, although stainless steel has over taken silver lately in the cutlery department.
Classic gifts are popular with brides and grooms at Farmers, too. Janice Davies, kitchen and tabletop buyer, recommends buying a handsome cutlery set or fine bone china, which the couple can add to later.