Real Life

Weekly People: The healing power of friendship

Burns victim Donna Gregory-Marshall is finally living the life she’s always dreamed of.
Burn Victims

When Donna Gregory-Marshall walked down the aisle on her wedding day wearing a sheer lace dress, she stood tall and proud, no longer using baggy clothing to cover her scars.

“My wedding dress was risqué for me, but I loved wearing it! A few years ago, I would have been panicking about showing my scars. I wouldn’t wear sleeveless dresses – I thought people would stare,” she says.

Donna (51) was just 11 months old when she tugged on the cord of a boiled jug of water, sending it tumbling off the kitchen bench. The accident caused severe burns to her body, and scarring to her arms, back, neck and shoulders.

For years, she was bullied and became self-conscious, concealing her scars. She underwent more than 15 operations, including skin grafting, to ease her pain and release the taut scar tissue.

“When I was a child, I was called all sorts of names. One of the worst was ‘Crispy’. I didn’t like swimming at school. People would have pool parties and I didn’t go, but now I would!” says Donna, a nurse.

Donna struggled to deal with bullying she faced as a child, but since meeting Tracey-Maree (right), she’s had a burst of confidence.

It wasn’t until she met another burns survivor, Tracey-Maree Wilton-Houia (51), through a Facebook burns support group four years ago that the two bonded over their similar traumatic childhood experiences, and Donna’s life changed. Meeting in person two years ago, Donna was inspired by her newfound friend’s shining confidence.

“I realised through watching Tracey in public that it was okay not to look like everyone else. Her confidence outshone everything, so I decided to do some soul-searching. I realised I had to embrace my inner beauty,” she says.

Donna recalls vividly the first time she revealed her scars, on a hot summer’s day in Mount Maunganui at the end of 2012.

“I had the most beautiful dress and cardigan on. A friend said, ‘Take the cardigan off.’ At first I said ‘no’ and started to cry but then, suddenly, I just did! I was self-conscious because it was the first time in almost 50 years I’d shown my arms.

I texted Tracey-Maree to tell her straight away,” she recalls.

Like Donna, Tracey-Maree suffered third degree burns to her arms, chest and legs as a baby. And it happened exactly the same way.

“A family friend was baby-sitting me – it was the first time my mother had left me. I was in a baby walker and the jug cord was hanging to the ground. I pulled it down on top of me,” she explains.

“I was pronounced dead from shock. But I’m a survivor!”

Meeting Donna, who has suffered fertility issues and never had children, gave Tracey-Maree an opportunity to spread her message that “scarring is only skin deep”, and the glamour-puss, who has a love for vintage fashion, says she’s delighted Donna has come out of her shell.

After plucking up the courage to bare her arms, Donna (left) chose a “daring” wedding dress.

“It really helps me to know I’ve helped Donna realise her true beauty,” says Tracey-Maree.

However, the journey hasn’t been an easy one for Tracey-Maree, who, as well as being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis seven years ago, has had countless operations to correct her skin tissue.

“I had extensive skin grafting and when I was a teenager they re-did my breast area. They took skin from my armpit, forgetting that hairs grow under our arms, so now I have a hairy breast!” she laughs. “Like Donna, I experienced bullying and struggled with self-worth and confidence as a teenager.”

But Donna has moved on from all that. Marrying her true love Kevin Marshall on July 26 was a real turning point.

“I finally feel feminine,” she says with a wide smile. “Before,

I liked what was on the inside but now I like what’s on the outside as well. I wear dresses I’d always wanted to wear and wear tank tops – I’ve shed my skin since meeting Tracey-Maree. It just took me 49 years!”

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