Please don’t call Sophia Malthus inspirational. You may not realise, but it can seem like a back-handed compliment.
The Aucklander was 19 when she was thrown from a racehorse, landing on a fence. She was paralysed from the neck down, impairing 87% of her body. Now studying law, Sophia uses her spare time to create content for social media on Instagram and TikTok (@itssophandindy), which has led to the production of the new series This Is Wheel Life.
“To be called inspiring is actually patronising,” she says, without wanting to be any more insulting to someone who is in awe of what she has achieved since the 2016 accident.
“We [quadriplegics and tetraplegics] have been given this life just like you have been given your life. You’re living it and I am not telling you you’re inspirational.”
Beside her sits her carer and cousin Indy Henman, who adds, “It’s like they are saying, ‘Wow, you’re still happy even though you’re disabled’. It’s like their expectations of you are far less than what you are doing.
“Instead, I would say Soph is very resilient. She just gets on with it. She accepted the injury pretty fast.
“She doesn’t like the term inspiring, but I think she does motivate a lot of people. She shows that life doesn’t stop when hardship happens. And when challenges come up, she just adapts and problem solves.”
Wanting to normalise disability, the pair have created the series, hosted on rnz.co.nz, that covers all aspects of life in a wheelchair – told through the eyes of their inter-abled friendship. They cover subjects such as The Gym Bod Of A Quad, Finding My Third Wheel, The Mystery Of Accessible Fashion, and yes, there is even an episode on sex and intimacy.
“Our series is a light-hearted look into disability,” Indy, 25, explains. “Because often the stories that are told are tear-jerkers. We just want to normalise it.”
When Soph had the accident, she struggled to find peers to learn from, particularly as 82% of spinal cord injuries happen to males.
“To find other girls my age that had similar injuries in New Zealand was almost impossible,” she tells. “So social media gave me exposure to them across the world, which was really important because I could see relationships and friendships and careers. And I guess that’s probably what made me feel like life would continue.”
Soph still has movement in her arms, however her hands do not open, so her mother taught her how to be independent as soon as she possibly could. That includes doing some of her own cooking and her own makeup.
“I take more effort into how I look now, that’s because it makes people, particularly strangers, put more value into me,” Sophie shares. “People are uncomfortable around disability, so the more comfortable and humorous I am, I hope makes other people feel more at ease.”
Sophie and Indy make a great team, seeing the funnier side of life.
Sophie and Indy’s mothers – Flick Davies and Sarah Malthus – are not only sisters, they’re also best friends.
When Indy’s parents split up, she lived with her dad in Palmerston North while Sophie was in Nelson, and later moved to Auckland to study natural medicine. She had the accident a year later.
When Indy moved to Auckland two years ago to progress her acting career, Sophie asked if she’d consider helping to look after her.
“Healthcare is not my vibe at all – I forget to feed Martha [Sophie’s dog] at least once a week. But I was broke and needed a job,” she jests. Indy is one of a team of seven carers, her 61 hours a week tend to be two nights and three days.
“Whatever I’m doing, Indy just comes along. If I’m going out with my friends, Indy’s a part of the group. That’s the good thing about having a caregiver that is someone that you’d naturally want to hang out with. She blends in and gets paid to go out for dinner. So it’s mutually beneficial. I still get the help without that being really obvious that I have someone looking after me.”
And Indy has perfected filling in time for those occasions when she is not needed to be at her side – such as waiting in the car when Sophie is on a date. Her reward is being debriefed on the way home.
“Soph doesn’t get a reciprocal friendship in that part,” says Indy.
“I’m quite a private person. I get to see pretty much every part of Soph’s life and she has seen almost none of mine.”
Soph counters, “I’ve never even been to her house. And I don’t see her naked!”
