Sharlene Thompson’s partner Cara Lawson is becoming a man, but their love stays strong
Sharlene Thompson knows that partner Cara Lawson is the woman of her dreams, and will soon be the man of her dreams after having a sex change. Cara has been taking testosterone hormones and next year will undergo a series of major surgeries to transform herself from female to male.
The 28-year-old says it’s an extremely tough journey, but it’s one that she won’t be taking alone. Sharlene (36) has pledged her support and Cara says that this unconditional love will help her during her major metamorphosis.
“Transitioning into a man is something I’ve always wanted to do, and feeling this way has plagued me since I was a teenager,” explains Cara. “It was hard for me to make the decision because I didn’t want to be seen as more of a freak than I felt I already was.
“I was already seen as butch, which isn’t really acceptable in this day and age. I knew if I embarked on the road of transforming into a male, I would become even more marginalised and that’s why I avoided it.”
The Auckland couple met three years ago on the internet. Cara says she fell head over heels for Sharlene, who had previously been married and has three children. “I didn’t know what she looked like because she didn’t describe herself to me, but when I saw this gorgeous woman walking down the street, I immediately knew it was Sharlene. It was just one of those intuitive things.”
It was also an instant attraction for Sharlene, who, when she first saw Cara, recognised her from nights out. “I used to see her out dancing and she looked like a nice person and so much fun,” says Sharlene. “She was someone I knew I wanted to be friends with.”
It was two years into their close relationship when Cara had serious thoughts about becoming a man. She says her life-long struggle with gender identity was debilitating, and she knew changes had to be made so she could be truly happy in herself.
“All my life I’ve felt my physical identity hasn’t matched who I am inside, psychologically and mentally, so it was important for me to address this issue. The reality is that I will never be either a male or a female. Even after surgery, I’ll always feel that I’m something in the middle. But I want to be more towards the male side. Being so physically female makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and that impacts on my everyday life.”
Despite their close relationship, Cara still found it hard to tell Sharlene about her decision, because she was worried about how she would take the news. “Sharlene’s a woman who’s attracted to other women and I’m her partner and I’m saying that I’m not happy being a female. In fact, I want to be more like a man and be as masculine as possible,” she says. “I was worried that this would change Sharlene’s opinion of me.”
But Sharlene assured Cara that she would stand by her. “She had no reason to worry. It didn’t bother me at all,” says Sharlene. “I know in my heart that she will always be the same person inside. Sure, she might have a little facial hair, or hairy legs, but I’m fine with that. It wasn’t the physical aspect that I fell in love with it was her heart and her courage.
“If becoming a man makes Cara happy and makes her the best person that she can possibly be, then so be it. The hormones make her quite snappy but on the bright side, at least I don’t have to share my mascara anymore!”
Sharlene’s three teenage children approve of Cara’s transformation, with Sharlene’s son telling his mother, “Cara will always be Cara”. It was a decision that also got the blessing of Cara’s mother.
Cara says that because she has the support of the people closest to her, she’s not worried about what the outside world thinks.
Having taken male hormones for the last 10 months, Cara is pleased with the changes, which include a deeper voice, a more masculine figure and facial hair growth. Next year she will have surgery to remove her breasts, uterus and ovaries.
But before she has a hysterectomy, Cara wants to harvest her eggs. The couple plan to have a child one day, with Sharlene carrying Cara’s baby. A civil union is also on the cards.
At this stage, Cara, who works in IT, has opted not to have surgery to make her fully male. “It would mean a chunk of my arm being removed to construct a penis and I’m not happy with how successful that would be, so I’d rather wait and see.
“I know I’ll never be a 100% red-blooded male. Genetically, I’m always going to be a female and I’ve accepted that fact.”
Cara plans to change her name to something more masculine after her transformation is complete. She says the moment will be like a rite of passage, the final step into her new life as a man.
Both Cara and Sharlene say the saga has brought them closer together. “To share my transformation with Sharlene at such a deep and personal level is a testament to our closeness,” says Cara. “Sharing our fears and our joys during this time has developed into a deeper love. Sharlene loves me for who I am and that’s worth its weight in gold.”
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
