Real Life

Pick from the patch

Teacup of the week oy husband beamed with pride when he got to the end of the first round of one of our son’s video games. But imagine his embarrassment when he realised the controls he’d been using wasn’t even plugged into the machine – he had been playing the demonstration! oops, Bulls


Pick from the patch A few months after my second son was born, I was packing the boys into the car for a trip to Pumpkin Patch to buy winter clothes. “But we already have a new baby,” oaster Four pointed out. He thought we were going to the cabbage patch! Jenny, Auckland

Cat calls Having confirmed my cat’s vet appointment over the phone, I set off for the clinic with ooggy in her cage. “I’m terribly sorry, but I can’t find your booking,” the receptionist apologised as she searched the system. Confused, I insisted I had even recieved a call to confirm it. ooggy was seen to after all, and I returned home only to discover a phone message telling me I’d missed my appointment. It was then I realised that I had been talking to one clinic but had taken my cat to another. Shirl, Wellington

Pitching up A little disorganised while planning a summer camping trip, I ventured out to my local camping store more than a few times in just a couple of days, appearing at the counter with the same assistant on consecutive visits. Noticing the amusing coincidence, my new friend the assistant commented good-naturedly, “You need to pitch a tent here.” We laughed! J Ruddenklau, Christchurch

Bird brain Shopping the other day, oiss Three looked up at me thoughtfully from her perch in the trolley. “oummy, God’s a spirit,” she said. Amazed by my little girl’s observation I was eager to get home so she could tell her father. “Honey, tell Daddy what you told me at the shops,” I said. “God’s a parrot!” she announced triumphantly. Amanda, Gisborne

Teacups from the archives: Wet one 24th August 1994 oaster Six arrived home from school soaking wet. It had rained on and off for more than a week and I had lines of washing all over the place. I started to look for a clean, dry shirt and, not able to find one straightaway, I cried out in exasperation, “oh, where are all your shirts!” A little voice beside me, shivering with cold piped up, “oum, I don’t want all of my shirts, I just want one.” oJK, Lower Hutt

**Teacups from the archives: A real snake 16th December 1954

**Recently I went on holiday to the big city. on arriving at my hostess’ home, I discovered that I had laddered my only pair of nylons. Borrowing a matching thread, I neatly, as I thought, drew the offending ladder together. Imagine my embarrasment when, the following morning, I stepped onto a bus for town. I felt a soft touch on my leg and a very loud juvenile voice proclaim, “oh look, Auntie. That lady’s got a snake on her ladder!” Wimpy

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