When Desiree Gascon choked back her emotions when she vowed to love her husband in sickness and in health, most guests could be forgiven for thinking she was overcome with joy on her big day. What they didn’t know was that Desiree (36) and her groom Andrew (31) were keeping a huge, heartbreaking secret from their friends and family.
Just days before the wedding, the mum-of-one, who fought breast cancer five years earlier, had been told by her doctors that the cancer was back and had spread to her spine and lungs. Despite this, brave Desiree decided not to call off her big day. Instead, she and Andrew agreed to go ahead and not tell family and friends of the diagnosis until after the celebrations.
“We couldn’t cancel it because it wasn’t going to change things. Everything was already planned and paid for. If we had told them, and even if they hadn’t said anything, I would have seen it in their faces, and I couldn’t have coped with that,” says Desiree.
“By keeping it from them, we could just function normally. But it was so strange, knowing there was a very big challenge in front of us after our beautiful wedding day. It was a bond between Andrew and I – our secret.”
But when it came to speaking their vows, with their little boy Hayden (19 months) standing with them at the altar of the church in Plimmerton, near Wellington, Desiree struggled to cope. “I had a very long pause to retain my composure after I promised to love Andrew in sickness and in health. I could barely carry on.”
Desiree’s cancer specialist had given her the option of waiting to find out the results of her tests until after the wedding. But Desiree wanted to know the truth. Even then, she kept the shocking result to herself for one night so Andrew could enjoy his stag night.
“I wanted him to have a great evening with his friends and I told him the next day,” she says.
The couple, who met when they were both on a night out, had only been together for a few months when Andrew discovered a lump on Desiree’s right breast and insisted she have it checked. It was found to be an aggressive form of breast cancer and she underwent a double mastectomy. Cancer was also found in 16 of her 20 lymph nodes, which were removed.
“I remembered when I was first diagnosed I was thankful it was in the early stages, because once it spreads through the rest of your body, it’s never going away. The hope of a cure is gone when you’re diagnosed a second time.
“It has been devastating second time around. The biggest reason is because now I have a son who means the world to me,” she says.
Desiree has had chemotherapy to shrink the tumours and so far her health is good. “If I keep responding to the treatment then I hope I will be around until my son is a teenager,” she says.
“But Andrew and I are planning for the worst. I’ve cashed in my superannuation knowing that I will never reach retirement age. We are using the money to go to the Philippines where I originally come from so Andrew and Hayden can meet my family there. That’s really important to me.”
When the tough situation gets to her, Desiree looks through her wedding album with Hayden on her knee, and relives her day as a bride. Just seeing the smiling, relaxed faces of loved ones, Andrew’s proud expression and the cheeky grin of little Hayden as he gazes at his mum, gives her a new burst of strength. “All I can do is keep my fingers crossed,” she says.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
