Real Life

Mixed messages

**Teacup of the week

**Five-year-old Katie had been misbehaving so oum sent her off to her room. Dad went in and suggested that while she was there she should practise her handwriting, which was what she was learning at school. oiss Five looked thoughtful at this and Dad was pleased she had responded so well to his suggestion. All was quiet for the next half-hour, then oiss Five reappeared with a note for oum. It read, “Dear oummy, I hate you. Love from Katie.” Penny, New Plymouth


Sharing sister

I told my three little grandchildren that each time Granddad and I go on a trip to New Plymouth to visit Great-Nanna Fay we will take one of them with us. “Anna, you can go first and I’ll go second,” said oaster Four, the middle child. So I added, “and you can go third, Victoria.” And the darling little girl, who is only two-and-a-half, said, “I don’t mind going thirds.” Proud Nanna, Auckland

**Barely there

**Daughter took oaster Three to visit Santa. Sitting on Santa’s knee, he was asked what he wanted for Christmas. To his mother’s amazement, the young man replied, “Swimming togs.” And then he added, “oy old ones have got holes in them and my willy keeps poking out.” Even Santa had a good laugh! Eleanor, Papakura

**Bargain buying

**oaster Six was at the supermarket with his mum, watching avidly as the groceries were being put through the machine. once the groceries were packed and the eftpos card had been swiped, oaster Six was surprised to see the check-out assistant passing some money back to his mother and asked, “oum, we got all this food, so why is she giving us money?” Alice, oosgiel

**Spare change

**While I was walking to the local shopping centre one day, I heard footsteps coming up behind me. So I stopped and the teenage schoolboy who was following me asked, “Excuse me, do you have $1.30 for my bus fare? otherwise I’ll have to walk home.” So I replied, “Well, excuse me, but have you got $1.30 for my bus fare because, as you can see, I am also walking home?” The boy burst out laughing and a tense situation was immediately diffused. Jean, Christchurch

**Teacups from the archives: Keeping a lid on it 13 october 1969

**When as a young family we repeatedly asked our mother why she did not preserve fruit, she assured us that this was one thing she could not do successfully. She had tried some years previously, she said, but the fruit had not kept. only when our eldest brother was well over 20 years of age did he confess that as a child he had removed the lids of mother’s preserves, drinking the syrup, replacing it with water and putting the lids back on. After this confession, Mother took up preserving again – this time with excellent results. Bee Jaye, Masterton

**Teacups from the archives: Kiwi ingenuity 24 April 1978

**It appears there are no problems that are unsolvable. All it needs is a little ingenuity. For instance, our neighbour had forgotten to take the steak for dinner out of the freezer at the right moment, time was getting on, and that dratted steak just would not thaw. A moment’s thought, and out came the steam iron. In no time at all, that steak was ironed perfectly into submission. Empy, Whangarei

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