Real Life

Mind reader

Teacup of the week oaster Five loved working alongside his poppa. one day he took the measuring tape indoors and busied himself with measuring anything that took his fancy. The cat was lying stretched out in the sun, and seemed an important “thing” to run the tape over. After doing so, he looked triumphant as he announced “Nan, Bronson is five o’clock!” Just Nan, Palmerston


oind reader When I was newly married, my husband decided to teach me to drive in his father’s brand-new automatic car. We got in, and husband assured me an automatic was fail-safe. off we drove. So far, so good. Husband suggested turning into the driveway, up to the garage door, then reversing out. I pulled up to the door, stopped momentarily, then hit the accelerator. When the dust settled, my husband said “What did you think you were doing?” I replied indignantly, “You said the car was automatic; I thought it would know I wanted to reverse!” K Simpson, Palmerston North

**Balls up

**oy dear little six-year-old grandaughter was staying the night with me and I asked her if she would like fish and chips for tea. The reply was, “Yes, because I haven’t had them for a long time, because my dad has high testicles.” She meant to say her dad has high cholesterol. Mary-Anne, Masterton

Straight talker oy son, oaster 12, came and sat closely beside me on the couch with his sandwich on a plate. I leaned over and started kissing him on the head, as mothers do. He sat patiently looking at his sandwich for a while, and eventually the dry response came, “Well, this is awkward…” Forever Boys, Karaka

Not much fun Recently my daughter and her six-year-old son were waiting outside the local church. To fill in the time, my daughter suggested oaster Six read the notices on the noticeboard. When he got to weddings, he pronounced the syllables – wed-dings, then he continued reading, fun-er-als. “What sort of fun is that, oum?” he asked! Samuel’s Nana, oount oaunganui

**Teacups from the archives: oade to measure 20th october 1969

**our neighbour was building a new garage and our small daughter was an interested spectator. That evening, when the garage was nearly completed, our neighbour backed the car into it and Daughter rushed inside, very excited, to tell me, “oum! It fits!” ES, Taumarunui

**Teacups from the archives: Bald statement 25th September 1978

**A group of miners were on their way to work when they heard a small voice call out, “baldie, baldie” to one of the men walking past. The remark was ignored but the child continued for several mornings, until finally the gent decided to speak to her father. The father scolded the child severely. The next morning, the gent looked over to give the young offender a self-satisfied grin – only to see her standing in her usual place, smugly rubbing the top of her head in a circular motion. She didn’t say a word! Bee Bee, Timaru

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