It’s hard to believe this happy and contented mum with a new man at her side is the same Leonie Brookhammer who struggled with depression after the break-up of her de-facto marriage.
Hardly recognisable from the woman who was with former Whanganui mayor Michael Laws for seven years, Leonie (41) says she has now found happiness after picking up the pieces following her separation 18 months ago.
She has a new life, new look and a new love in Glenn Ivory (26), and her new image reflects the change to her psychological state. Gone are the dark days brooding over the relationship break-up and caring for her seriously ill daughter, Lucy (now 6) who was diagnosed with leukaemia. Leonie is now facing the future with a spiky blonde haircut, her nose pierced and a new job as a wedding planner.
“The first year was the hardest. The first six months were incredibly hard, which is one of the reasons I wanted to do this story. When you have been a stay-at-home mum – even if it’s only for a couple of years, and particularly if you’ve had a career before and you gave it up to look after the children – separating is extremely tough,” says Leonie who has five children – three with Michael and two teenagers from a previous relationship.
“When your ex-partner still has everything – the house, the car, the job, the status, the money – and you find yourself wondering what the heck you are going to do with the rest of your life, it’s so hard to pick yourself up and start again.”
The turning point for Leonie came when she was offered casual work in the hospitality industry. “I wanted to go back to my career in publishing and marketing, but there were no opportunities here. So I went to work at functions, which was the first job I’d done for a couple of years.
“The way to get back on your feet is to work – even if it’s part-time. It’s not just about keeping busy. It’s the social aspect of making new friends.”
Working in catering, Leonie established some important new connections. She met wedding planner Sharon Caseley, and is now taking over her business, Creative Country wedding specialists.
She also made new acquaintances, including her boyfriend Glenn. “He was the manager at a café where I was sent to work one day. on my first day I had to admit I couldn’t make coffee. He said, ‘Well, Leonie, what can you do?’ I said, ‘I’m really good at smiling at people.’
“I spent the next hour trying to work out the till and apologising to Glenn’s regular customers until one woman said, ‘It’s okay dear, you’ve got a lovely smile!'”
But it wasn’t just Leonie’s smile that won Glenn’s heart. “There was a good connection from when we first met and the more time we spent together, the more interested I became,” he explains.
“Leonie makes me happy. She has confidence in herself and I like the effect she has on other people. She cheers people up and puts others first.”
When Glenn helped Leonie move into her funky 97-year-old bungalow three months ago, their friendship started to deepen. After Glenn helped to shift 15 trailer-loads of her possessions, chopping wood and fixing fuses, Leonie started to realise that he really cared for her.
“He would come after work and ask what needed to be done and he even helped my neighbour,” she says.
When Leonie confided that another man had made a pass at her, Glenn confessed his feelings. “I could see the look on his face and he said, ‘Do you know how I feel about you?’ I’ve never had anyone treat me the way Glenn treats me. Never in my life have I had anyone nurture the nurturer,” says Leonie.
“He does things to make life easier. When you can see how special someone is and how big their heart is through their actions – that’s the sort of person you want to be with. I’d resolved to not have a relationship, but I found myself asking, ‘Why couldn’t this work?'”
Their 15-year age difference is not something that enters the equation.
“I don’t see it,” says Glenn, who now works as a painter in his own business.
“He says I’m not the average 41-year-old, but I look at Glenn and I don’t think he’s the average 26-year-old. He’s got a maturity and an ability to relate to everybody. But it was a bit hard being called a cougar by my 14-year-old son,” Leonie laughs.
It’s too early for the couple to discuss their future, but Leonie says she is happy at last. She’s looking forward to starting work at Creative Country this month – a job she had never considered, but one that current owner Sharon thinks will be perfect for her.
“I know Leonie has flair and hospitality experience and she is the kind of person who will give 200% – and she has a wonderful way with people.”
While Leonie is likely to change her image again, after originally shaving her hair for charity in october last year, she says she’s never felt so good.
“I like the person I am now. The spiky hair and the nose ring may not be to everyone’s taste and I’m sure it will at some stage disappear – my hair could become an auburn bob. But I look in the mirror in the morning and I’m happy with the person I am. I wanted the chance to start again, and the new life I have made is so joyful. The light at the end of the tunnel is brighter than I could ever have imagined.”
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