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I sleep with my son’s angel

Logan ouir died of a brain tumour, but his mum Aimee (38) believes he still cuddles her each night.

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I pressed my little boy Logan’s pyjama top to my face, breathing in his smell, and for the first time since he died, I knew for sure that he wasn’t gone.

Just like he did when he was alive, my gorgeous son was still sneaking into bed with me and his dad Shane (48) for a cuddle. I couldn’t see him but I could sense him – and the comfort that feeling gave me was beyond words.

Earlier that day, I had gone to a book signing by medium Jeanette Wilson. I had heard stories of how amazing she was but I also knew, as I stood in the queue, that she was too tired to do any readings.

When I reached her, I knew I had to take my chance. I held out a picture of Logan. She took it, looked at it and said the words that have changed my life: ‘Logan wants to you to know that every night he hops into bed between Shane and you for snuggles’.

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oy eyes opened wide in astonishment. She couldn’t have known that if she wasn’t really communicating with my seven-year-old son, who had died four months earlier.

For 18 months before he died, Logan had bravely battled a cancerous brain tumour. At night, even when he was very sick, he would sneak down the hallway of our Pokeno villa and climb under the covers between his dad Shane and me. I remember holding my son in my arms, knowing how ill he was, and praying that he would be okay. But my prayers weren’t answered.

Shane and I had seven children between us, including our two daughters together, Georgia (11) and Lucy (9), and Logan, our youngest child.

We started worrying about Logan’s health in 2005, when he wasn’t recovering from a dose of the flu, he was diagnosed with the brain tumour. He started vomiting and had trouble walking steadily. We were convinced the medical tests would show it was an ear infection.

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But a week after his sixth birthday, he was diagnosed with the brain tumour. After the surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy, we hoped for the best.

However, just when Logan seemed to be in remission, he had a big seizure. The tests which followed showed that the tumour was gone, but the cancer had spread. That’s when we were told there was no hope for our little boy, and we brought him home for those final few precious days in october last year.

Every night since our devastating loss I would smell Logan’s little pyjama top, which l kept under my pillow, hoping he was still around in some way.

Now, thanks to Jeanette, I know for certain he is with us.

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‘Logan wants you to know that it’s not your fault,’ Jeanette told me. ‘There wasn’t anything you could have done that could have changed the outcome. This was a battle that Logan couldn’t win.’

I felt a huge weight lifting from my shoulders and all the “what if” questions swirling in my mind simply vanished. Logan’s message was finally clear.

I truly believed he had been trying to contact me before but this was the clear proof I needed to help the healing begin on my broken heart.

It was a huge relief when Jeanette said, ‘Logan is with two women and a man in the spirit world.’ It had to be my mother, who died of breast cancer when I was 24, and my grandparents who were looking after him. I knew oum had been keeping an eye on Logan when he was ill.

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When we got him home from hospital after having the tumour removed, he had been given a bunch of helium balloons. one heart-shaped balloon kept moving up and down. I thought it was running out of helium and didn’t think anything of it.

I walked down the hallway to my room for some time to myself and as I lay in bed crying my eyes out, I noticed the balloon had followed me. It had the words “I love you” written on it and I watched with amazement as it drifted over and hovered above me.

I called to Shane to come into the room and he looked at the balloon. ‘It’s just the heater making it move,’ he said, turning to leave. Suddenly, the balloon moved sharply towards him and smacked him in the face. ‘It’s your mum,’ he agreed.

After losing Logan, I also had a vivid dream about him that I truly believe it was a special message from my son.

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In it, he was riding the bike he was given by the Make-A-Wish Foundation. He never got to use the bike because he was too ill and in pain, but in the dream, the bike was in my bedroom and I watched from my bed as he sat on it, with a big grin on his face.

‘Hey, oum, it’s okay,’ he said, walking to me and putting his little hands on my face. ‘I’m all whole again.’ Then he was gone.

Jeanette’s messages from my boy gave me so much comfort. I sleep every night knowing he is there, safe and healthy again, tucked in beside me. It is wonderful to be able to say I have proof we will all be together again. I will always be grateful to Jeanette for that.

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