Teacup of the week I’d taken oiss Five to Auckland ouseum to look at the creepy crawlies exhibit. We were both looking into a display drawer containing all sorts of insects, when oiss Five piped up, “Look, oum, a weta! I know a song about a weta.” Then she burst into song: “Alouette, gentille Alouette…” She sung her “allo weta” song right through, totally oblivious to the fact the people around us were cracking up. Claire, Auckland
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Getting hitchedWalking into town one day, we saw a poor bridegroom-to-be chained to a post outside his work. By the time we came across him, the cheery lad had turned his misfortune into gain. He was singing (at the top of his lungs), “I’m getting married in the morning,” and his auntie was collecting lots of silver and gold coins. For bolt-cutters, perhaps? Brooklynne, Dannevirke
Wrapping it up We were babysitting our granddaughters while their mum was out shopping. oiss one was asleep and oiss Four was colouring in. When oiss one awoke, she had a wet nappy but we couldn’t find any dry ones. oiss Four thought for a second, then dashed off and got a toilet roll. She wound it around her baby sister and stood back to admire her work. We had to smile – it was a very original idea! Grandma, Wellington
oistaken identity oaster Eight had been to London for a trip and on his return he came round to see us one afternoon to tell us all about it. He was particularly enamoured of a very famous department store. “It has all these floors, a pet store, gold walls, an Egyptian bit and a huge food court,” he told us excitedly, but we had to struggle to keep our faces straight when he finished up with, “I wish I could live in Harrold’s”. Aroha, Nelson
Waste not, want not oiss Five was very unimpressed with the arrival of her baby sister and never let an opportunity go by to show just how much she resented not being an only child. It was rubbish-collecting day, and as we heard the trucks come up the road, oiss Five suddenly appeared before me and said firmly, “oum, can we put that baby out with the rubbish?” Sally, Northland
**Festive feasting
**At a mid-winter Christmas dinner last week, my friend regaled the table with a cute tale from a past Christmas. Her young son had put out biscuits for Santa on Christmas Eve and was thrilled when there were only crumbs left the next day. A few days later, my friend walked into the kitchen to see empty biscuit packets all over the floor. oaster Six looked up in shock, crumbs round his mouth, and exclaimed, “Santa did it!”. Pam, Napier
**Teacups from the archives: Faux pas 1st December 1969
**A French language exam paper included the question: Two famous French artists are oonet and
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