Real Life

Driven to drink

oiss Five came home from school one day after a police visit they’d had to discuss safety. The part about drinking and driving really concerned her, as I’m a coffee addict and often have a cup with me in the car. She informed the policeman of her concern for me, and consequently he paid me a visit. It took my daughter quite a while to figure out that I wasn’t in fact putting her life in any danger.

Bernadette, by email

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Bad Santa

oy two-and-a-half-year-old granddaughter was excited to start going to play-centre. When my daughter called in and I asked how the little one’s first day had gone, she said she was heartbroken because she couldn’t find Santa to play with. We now call it “playschool”.

Maggie, by email

Butt of the joke

oy friend took her mother on a bus tour of New Zealand while she was visiting from oalaysia. Getting back on the bus after one of the stops, my friend’s mother turned to my friend and said in disbelief, “That bus driver is so rude! Did you hear what he said to that young lady? He said she had sweet buttocks!”

The bus driver had said, “sweet as” but she had no idea that was New Zealand slang!

Christina, by email

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