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‘Don’t turn off my girl’s life support’

Linda Humby (39) shares her daughter Cherie’s amazing story of survival after a brain haemorrhage left her on life support.

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They were the words no mum should have to hear. “You have a couple of hours before we turn off your daughter’s life support machine, so call your family,” the doctor said. “Tell them to come to the hospital to say goodbye.”

As he spoke, I held tightly to my beautiful 17-year-old daughter Cherie’s limp hand, as she lay in the hospital bed.

“No way,” I replied. “There is no way she is going to die.”

Her boyfriend Mike stood beside me, choking back his tears. Cherie had been at Mike’s house, which is next door to our home in Auckland, earlier that day. As she was getting ready for work, she began to feel unwell.

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Later, Mike told me how he fetched her a glass of water and as soon as he handed it to her, she tipped it over her head.

“What did you do that for?” He asked. As he spoke, Cherie began to pull at her clothes, saying she felt hot, then fell to the floor.

Shocked and shaking, Mike put her into the recovery position and called an ambulance.

I was washing the dishes when my six-year-old son, oathew, rushed in. “oum, come quick!” he shouted. “Cherie has gone to hospital in an ambulance.”

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It was such an emergency, nobody had time to come and get me. My husband Warwick and I went straight to the hospital and waited for news of Cherie’s condition. Then the doctor told me my daughter had suffered a major brain haemorrhage and wouldn’t survive.

Cherie had suffered from headaches on and off for years, but doctors had put it down to stress. As well as studying at school, Cherie was helping with her seven brothers and sisters. I had been diagnosed with kidney stones, and Warwick had severe arthritis. As Cherie was the eldest, she took on the role of the main carer in our family.

As the family gathered round her bedside to say goodbye, a doctor took me to one side and said they had decided to delay turning off the machine. They planned to put Cherie under observation for a while. I felt like it was a ray of hope.

“Please be aware this doesn’t mean she will get better,” the doctor warned. He explained that Cherie had been born with weak blood vessels in her brain, and the bleed could have happened at any time. Even if she survived, he said, the bleeding was so severe she would be brain damaged.

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We waited and hoped, praying they wouldn’t decide to turn off the machine. At one point, Warwick took Cherie’s hand and leaned close to her. “Darling, I would take your place if I could,” he said.

Tragically, we didn’t know how true those words would become just a few months later.

Then it happened. After three days, Cherie came out of her coma. My 15-year-old daughter Laura had refused to leave her big sister’s bedside, not eating or sleeping for the three days until she was at the point of collapse.

But coming out of a coma isn’t like it’s portrayed in movies. Cherie was off life support, but she was still not really with us.

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For two months, nothing happened, then one day I bent down to cuddle her. “I love you so much, my darling,” I whispered. “If you can hear me please do something. Just blink or stick your tongue out, baby.”

As I pulled away, her tongue came darting out. I blinked, not knowing if I was seeing things but she did it again and again. I couldn’t believe it. I was over the moon.

From that point on, she slowly began to get better. Eventually, the doctors transferred Cherie to a recovery unit. After a six-month stay, she was discharged last September.

The doctors said they had never seen a recovery like hers after such a devastating brain bleed. We were so happy to have her home but sadly, in November, Warwick was diagnosed with lymphatic cancer – and died in December. I felt as though God had given Cherie back but taken her father instead.

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Cherie (now 18) is on the mend. Apart from a few minor memory problems and a slight loss in sight, she is doing really well. When I think how close she came to having her life support turned off, I realise how amazing her recovery is.

But it has been such a hard time for the family. Warwick and I had been married for over 18 years and I feel like his words about taking her place came true. I’ve got my beautiful daughter back but I’ve also lost my husband. As told to Jonica Bray Photograph by Phil Crawford

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