At 56, Dunedin grandma Teani Russell has decided to make a big change – by becoming a bloke. Like any other loving grandmother, Teani Russell adores spending time with her six young grandchildren. But kissing them goodnight after the bedtime stories, she is likely to have to tell them Granny needs to shave her face because she’s going through puberty like a teenage boy.
The Dunedin woman has made the decision to have a sex change and transform herself into a male. But even when the operation is finally done and Teani is physically male, she will never see the results. Teani was born blind and has had a guide dog for the past five years.
Despite being married, giving birth to two sons and having long-term relationships with men, Teani says she has always felt a deep longing to be male. Her blindness means Teani has never actually seen how a male is different to a female, and she believes this is proof that her yearning for a sex change goes beyond just wanting the physical attributes.
“All my life I knew I was different and wanted to become a man,” she says. “It’s a psychological thing, something I feel I have to do to be more complete.”
Teani’s marriage ended in 1985 and she was left to raise her two sons by herself. She didn’t think it was possible to have a sex change until 10 years ago when she came across a documentary on transsexual oP Georgina Beyer.
“I had these feelings for so many years, but I had no idea who to go to or what to do about it,” she says. “When I discovered how Georgina had dealt with it, I said to myself, ‘If she can do it, then so can I!'”
That was all the inspiration Teani needed and she started taking steps towards her longed-for transformation. Since then, Teani has been living life as a man and injecting herself with the male hormone testosterone, which gives her a deeper voice, a more manly figure and facial hair.
This year she is scheduled to have her breasts and womb surgically removed, and will travel to Australia for the final operation – to construct a penis. oany who have a sex change from female to male opt not to have the full operation because it doesn’t always give a realistic result. But for Teani, it’s important to be physically male in every way.
“If I only got part of the surgery done and left out something so important, I wouldn’t feel complete,” she says.
Teani is embarking on a huge life and body transformation that will be painful at times. But that doesn’t deter her. “It’s hard to explain why I’m doing this, especially being in my fifties and after having a family,” she admits. “But it’s something I feel I have to follow through. I’m prepared to endure the pain and the hardship to be what I feel I should be – and that’s a man.”
Teani says her friends and family have been supportive of her decision. But she was faced with a hurdle when one of her adult sons said he had an issue with his mum becoming a dad. “He says he doesn’t know what to call me. If I change to a man, then I won’t be his mum anymore, and he can’t call me Dad because I’m not his dad,” says Teani.
“But my children have had a decade to realise this is what I want to do. I brought my kids up on my own, and did everything for them, like any mother would do. Now they have settled down with their own families. It’s up to them to find their own way in the world and realise this is what I need to make me happy.”
Teani says she has no regrets about how she has lived her life, and is looking forward to her future as a man. “I did want to have children and I did fall deeply in love with my children’s father,” she says.
She also believes it’s crucial to share her journey with her grandchildren, who are aged from two to 16. “I had to be completely honest with the kids,” she says. “I love them dearly.”
once Teani has changed completely into a man, she will be searching for that special woman who will be the love of her life. And she believes she has the right credentials to be a perfect life partner. “I have a good understanding of what it’s like to be a man and a woman. I’ve gone through all the womanly stuff and even given birth, and having testosterone means I’ve also gone through puberty like a teenage boy.
“I’m looking forward to finding a woman who wants to be with me for who I am, and enjoying a good life together.”
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