**Dear Wendyl,
**My brother-in-law recently split up from his wife and had nowhere to go, so we said he could come and stay with us for a while. Well, it’s been six months and he’s still living with us – rent-free, slobbing around in a depressed state and making no effort to find his own place. Meanwhile, he criticises us for how we live saying we’re not tidy enough. He has an (unasked for) opinion on everything. My husband (his brother) says we just have to give him more time, but I’m over it. What do I do?
*Denise, by email
*
**Dear Denise,
**You need to explain to your husband that a) you will be slobbing around in a depressed state too if you have to put up with your brother-in-law much longer, and b) it is doing him no good whatsoever being allowed to put off the day when he has to get over the break-up and pick himself up. The best thing you can do is ask him to leave, give him a deadline and get back to your life. Tell him you love him and you are there for him, but it’s time he moved on. He won’t like it one bit, will call you names and generally act like a child for a while, but stick to your guns and don’t believe a word of it.
Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.
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