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Relationships

What is a love coach and do you need one?

Listen to your heart – and an expert – before you rejoin the dating game.

Dating can be daunting, especially if you haven’t done it for a while. That’s when a professional love coach may be able to help.
“Whether by choice or through circumstance, if you’re returning to the dating scene, coaching can help you prepare for love and intimacy so you’re ready to meet that special someone,” says psychologist and relationship consultant Yvonne Allen.

What is a love coach?

Similar to a matchmaker, who facilitates romantic introductions, a love coach can help you meet someone new – but with the latter, you can also discuss, in detail, what did or didn’t work in past relationships to help you to overcome any lingering sadness or anger.
“What’s important is that you find a coach who understands your personal needs, such as assisting you to move forward after a relationship has come to an end,” says Yvonne.
When the time is right, a love coach will help you identify the qualities you’d most like in a life partner so you can recognise those traits in others.
“While dating websites have made it easier than ever to meet people, many of us still don’t know how to build a lasting relationship and often end up just dating casually for prolonged periods,” she tells.
“Taking time to focus on what truly matters to you can help you find the long-term relationship you want.”

How will it help?

Coaching can help you make peace with past relationships and provide guidance as you move through the process of finding a new partner.
Much like a life coach who helps unhappy employees find the job of their dreams, a love coach will always be there to bounce ideas off and cheer you on in the quest for love.
“You’ll also discover ways to broaden your social network and build lasting relationships,” explains Yvonne.
Finally, a love coach will keep encouraging you to be your best self while trying to connect with someone who deserves your love and affection.
“Anyone who has suffered heartbreak can benefit from being able to talk through it with a coach,” says Yvonne.

The rules of attraction

Know yourself
If you’re a social butterfly, a partner who’d rather stay in and watch TV isn’t going to be an ideal match. “Be realistic about your needs so you can choose a partner who’s right for you,” advises Yvonne.
Put friendship first
“Work out whether the person you’re attracted to could be a real friend to you; if they can’t, it’s unlikely your relationship will be able to handle life’s hurdles.”
Understand your values
“Be aware of the qualities you won’t compromise on, such as core beliefs and values,” Yvonne adds. “Relationships are all about give and take, so make sure you both have the same understanding of what’s acceptable and what isn’t.”

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