Dear Wendyl,
My partner’s parents are divorced and have been for the past 20 years. They really hate each other so we’ve always seen them separately, which has worked out fine. The problem is we now have a young daughter, who they both adore and love to spend time with, but they are using her as some sort of weapon against each other. They complain if one has her more than the other. They also refused to be in the same room at her last birthday party, so we had to have two. Now they are ringing my husband up and trying to see her every weekend as if it’s some sort of competition. I’ve had enough, but my husband gives in. What should I do?
**Frustrated daughter-in-law,
via email**
Dear Frustrated daughter-in-law,
That is just too much! Who are the adults here? You need to put your foot down, but in a way that doesn’t add to the already toxic environment your in-laws have created. You talk to your husband and say that letting your daughter go to two grandparents every weekend means you miss out as a family. Set up a weekly schedule for grandparent time, assign them each the same amount and let them have it. You need to take charge – this is your child, not theirs, and it is only a matter of time before it starts to affect your daughter in a very negative way as she gets tugged between them.
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