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Relationships

The Trainee Sexologist: Let's talk about sex

Sharyn Casey & Morgan Penn, hosts of popular podcast The Trainee Sexologist, tell us what they really, really want in a long-term love

SHARYN WRITES…
I hate the saying "spice it up" when it comes to romance because I feel like it implies you're being boring and it flares up my Sharynoia, but I can't resist a Spice Girls reference, so here goes: Relationships of the world, spice up your life!
It's a fact that the longer you're with someone, the lazier you get and then you wonder why you find yourselves in a rut. When this happens, one of the worst things you can do is remember the honeymoon period – that was not real!
Everyone's high on oxytocin at the start, then it wears off, you relax and you start to be yourself. And ya know what? That's way better than the honeymoon period because you don't have to pretend to like things you don't like – like the time I pretended to be into a terrible metal band so my now-husband would think I was super-cool and not actually at home cranking out Paramore and Lady Gaga.
But back to the laziness: Yes, life gets busy, you get older and suddenly you realise you've just been going through the motions. Well, sit back, relax and read on to hear from the one and only Morgan Penn, a qualified sexologist who will give you some tips on how to reignite the hot, hot fire your relationship once was…
MORGAN WRITES…
Long-term partnerships can be amazing, but the sexual sidewill definitely change in some capacity. For example, how do you keep the magic alive with someone you see every day, especially after you've both become so comfortable farting in front of each other? It's like having the same meal over and over again. Even if pizza is my favourite food, after a while, I'm going to get bored of it. I gotta spice things up. But how? Here are five ways:
Step 1: Flirting
This is an activity that will help keep your relationship alive. It's what builds up that sexual energy in the first place. You could send cute texts throughout the day. Tease your partner. Lock eyes with them across the room for a few seconds too long. Hold hands. Play-wrestle. Continue some of the fun, flirty activities you did when you first met and it will help to keep the romance alive.
Step 2: Time apart
Keep your independence, hang out with your friends and have your own hobbies. This creates polarity and polarity creates attraction. This gives you new things to talk about and experiences to share.
Step 3: Vulnerability
Intimacy really starts with emotional vulnerability, sharing what you really like or would like to try, and listening to your partner's needs and desires with no judgement and an open heart.
Step 4: Date nights
Make a plan every few weeks to dress nice or different from what you normally do, then do something fun and exciting together – just the two of you. Be adventurous.
Step 5: Curiosity
We might think that we know everything about our partners, but we don't and we never will. Every day, try to act like they're a whole new person with different experiences. Ask them questions like, "What was the strangest thing you saw today?" or, "What have you enjoyed the most in our sexual relationship this far?"
Season two of The Trainee Sexologist is out now on Rova

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