Dear Wendyl
oy husband and I have always had a very good sex life, but now we are in our forties things have started going a little soft – if you know what I mean. I’ve read that this is common for some men, so I don’t make a big fuss when it happens, but he always gets really embarrassed and is grumpy for days afterwards. How can I get him to see that there is help for his problem and that the longer he refuses to face up to it, the more frustrated I get?
Elizabeth, by email
Dear Elizabeth
Unfortunately, with most men, there seems to be a direct link between their self-esteem and their penis.If it’s not working too well, they feel awful, which makes the problem worse.
Meanwhile, many women can’t see why it’s such a big deal. I think it’s all a matter of picking your moments. Choose a time when you are not in the bedroom or trying to have sex to talk very casually about it. Say it’s no problem for you, but you just want to help him have more enjoyment, and suggest he sees his GP.
There are many things out there that he can try and, as long as he has your support, I don’t see why things can’t be fun again. But promise me you will never, ever make fun of him or his problem, or talk about it to your friends. This is between you – it’s private. And you must never make him feel bad about it, or it will take years for him to get his self-esteem back.
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