Sex Relationships

Sex after menopause

Sexpert Jodie Molloy answers your questions about intimacy.

Q; I'm halfway through menopause and I can't make my body respond, even when I'm in the mood for some loving. What's going on?

A: Feeling like you are operating a sub-Saharan downstairs isn't a pleasant feeling. It's just a simple fact of life that the vagina is privy to all kinds of events in the body that range from a change in hormones, breastfeeding and prescription drugs. Up to five percent of women taking the Pill never correlate the dryness they might be experiencing to contraceptives.

Trying to dwell for too long over why this is or lamenting for days gone by is pointless given we live in the age of super lubes. While it may be a change for you to have to use a product, it's a small mental shift that will soon be forgotten when you are enjoying the benefits of lubricants like System Jo.The high-grade quality of silicone gives you as a close-to-home experience as what your body can – some say even better!*

Q: My husband surprised me last week after a night out and asked if I would give him a lap dance. I said no. Is that wrong? He's never asked before.

A: It doesn't sound like he will be asking again soon either. The answer depends on the reasons why you didn't want to let your inner Beyoncé out. It's perfectly okay for partners to express their sexual fantasies and desires, and it's equally okay to say no if it's something you don't feel comfortable with. But in the words of Dr Phil McGraw, "How's that working for you?"

An intimate sexual relationship relies on some kind of trust, compatibility and sometimes compromise.

In the grand scheme of affairs, a shimmy about on your husbands groin may not be your idea of sexual nirvana, but it sounds like it might be his. Maybe consider something in return that you've always wanted to do or try and see it as your opportunity instead of something to be suspicious of.

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