Relationships

Rekindle relationship with difficult mother-in-law?

Dear Wendyl, I recently took my mother-in-law on an overseas trip to see my two adult children who live in Australia with their father.

Dear Wendyl,

I recently took my mother-in-law on an overseas trip to see my two adult children who live in Australia with their father. We decided to take a cruise there and then stay with the kids. What a nightmare! We have always been good friends, but by the second day I knew it was a big mistake. Nothing was right, she thought she had every illness under the sun and would get sulky if she didn’t get her own way. I got through it, but now we are back home I can barely talk to her, she was so vile. I miss our old relationship though. Do you think we can ever get it back?

Nancy, by email

Dear Nancy,

They say that the sure test of a relationship is to travel together. There’s nothing like leaving your comfort zone to bring out the worst in people. I think your mother-in-law was finding it hard to travel, which is why she was difficult. She was coping the only way she knew how. If you can see it in that light, you might be able to understand and then forgive her. As long as you don’t go on any more holidays, there is nothing to lose by rekindling your friendship on the same terms as before. Give yourself time, then make peace with her.

Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.

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