Relationships

Dear Wendyl, My husband is one of many Kiwis who suffer from depression. In the early days of our marriage we didn’t know what was wrong and several times I nearly left him.

**Dear Wendyl, **My husband has been having an affair for the past six months, but I only just found out about it. I caught him out and he admitted it and since then he has been verbally abusive to me, really disgusting and he refuses to move out. Can I make him? I don’t have […]

Long distance relationships are all about hours on the phone, hours on the road and hours on your own. It’s not for everyone, full of giant pregnant pauses of not knowing when your next rendezvous will be and the insecurities that ensue. Are the sleepless nights of wondering what he’s up to really worth it? […]

Dear Wendyl, All of my three kids are now at school and I really want to go to university and do the study I missed out on when I got pregnant at 17.

Dear Wendyl, Two years ago when I was working at a different place, I had an affair with someone. Actually, he’s the reason I eventually left, because it began to get too serious...

Dear Wendyl, My husband is really helpful around the house and does his fair share of the chores, which is great. However, I wish he wouldn’t try to help with the grocery shopping.

I am not a jealous person, but if my boyfriend flirts with anyone hot, then I am likely to rip his head off...

Dear Wendyl, My husband has been a very successful businessman and we’re very well off...

Dear Wendyl, I’m one of those lucky people who has a really glamorous mother. She used to be a model and has always looked fantastic.

In deep discussion about what “true love” is and if it exists, someone challenged me to write a blog about it. He challenged me to think about a concept almost as multifaceted as the concept of God. What is God? Most of us understand the idea but we struggle to define it, let alone prove […]

Dear Wendyl, My best friend and I both got pregnant around the same time and we have had the most wonderful time together sharing in our pregnancies...

Dear Wendyl, I recently got kicked out of my flat – I didn’t do anything bad, my landlord just decided to sell it

Dear Wendyl, Six months ago my brother went to jail for a horrible crime. I have no doubt in my mind he’s guilty and for that reason I refuse to visit him. My family say he needs our  support but I won’t do it. He’s always thought he could get away with stuff and I […]

Will you marry me? Four little words the desperately in love long to hear. Words that can create empires or sink ships.

Dear Wendyl, over the holidays I met an amazing guy while I was away on a friend’s boat.

Celebrity role models are making modern mums feel they have to be perfect in every way. There was a time when having a baby gave you a get-out-of-jail-free card for at least 12 months to look frumpy, tired and flabby

Dear Wendyl, I have a great relationship with my girlfriend. We make each other laugh, have lots of things in common and have great sex...

Is cheating on holiday still counted? Our agony aunt Wendyl dissects the situation

Dear Wendyl, I returned from Australia four years ago and mended myself back together after my relationship didn’t work out.

Dear Wendyl, I’m in a relationship with my ex partner’s closest mate and have been for the last two years.

You’re enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner with your new man when your cellphone rings. It’s the babysitter, ringing to say your toddler has thrown up everywhere and perhaps you should come home. Or you and your potential Mr Right are getting up close and personal on the couch, only for your teenager to barge into […]

I’ve been seeing a guy for over a year and he was very caring and loving – then I noticed a change in him.

Dear Wendyl, I thought I had been happily married for over 35 years until I discovered my husband is what I suppose you would describe as a cross-dresser...

Dear Wendyl, My friend recently sold her house but the new owners don’t take possession for two months as they’re returning from overseas. I went to visit the other day and she was planting out a garden and painting the fence, even though the house is sold and she will be moving out soon. She […]

Dear Wendyl, I made a New Year’s resolution this year to give up smoking and I’ve actually done it. I had been a smoker for 30 years, but I really feel like I’ve kicked it this time. The problem is my partner of 25 years is still smoking and refuses to even consider going without. […]

Safety in numbers is great for some things, but not when you’re overweight and relying on a friend to make you feel okay about that.

Dear Wendyl, Recently I met a great man. We get on so well, share a lot of the same interests and he adores me. But no matter how hard I try I'm not physically attracted to him. When we sleep together

Dear Wendyl, I come from an unusual family in that I'm the only one who has managed to make a go at life. I own my own business, have a great marriage and three terrific kids. But the rest of my family

Dear Wendyl, Recently my boyfriend and I had a huge argument. We had both had a bit to drink, but I never expected him to hit me. He whacked me across the side of my face so hard that I fell against the

Dear Wendyl, our daughter and her ex husband ended their marriage recently. As the divorce is a good length of time away, we would like to know if we're still beholden to give gifts to the ex for Christmas

Dear Wendyl, I love my partner of six months a lot and our sex life is pretty amazing. The only problem is he still talks about his ex and the antics they got up to in the bedroom. We'll be in bed and

Dealing with a partner's infidelity can be more difficult than some people can bear, so the relationship breaks up. But what if your partner mends their ways and refuses to leave? Hi Wendyl, I thought

How often are you referred to as "The Quiet One", "The Shy One" or "The Worrier" before you believe that is who you are and behave accordingly?

Dear Wendyl, I have just moved into a new rental property. I'm 44, single and live on my own, and I have met a very nice new neighbour. He's single, 42 and lives with his son.

You shared each other's lives, possibly a house and maybe children. But can you really share friendship with an ex?

Trust is so important if any relationship is going to be truly happy. But what happens when trust is lost all because of a computer? Dear Wendyl, I think my husband has been watching pornography late

Some people look forward to retiring when they're older, but others would rather have more financial security and be busy, so they keep working. But what happens when your husband forces you to retire?

Dear Wendyl, Six months ago I went on a business trip with a team from work. one night, after we’d finished a hard day’s work, I drank too much and ended up in bed with a colleague in his hotel room. The next day we both agreed it was a bad idea and left it […]

Dear Wendyl, My husband has been divorced for 14 years. After all this time his ex-wife still comes before him and me

Dear Wendyl, Some friends recently set me up with a guy by inviting us both to a party. It was a bit awkward, as we both knew we were being set up, but I knew the minute I saw him that he was the one

Dear Wendyl, I moved recently, and get along with my new neighbours very well. often we'll get together to do gardening or watch movies. one of my neighbours is a very nice man, and we get on famously.

Dear Wendyl, My husband recently invited some old friends of ours to stay for two weeks. They were visiting from Australia and we hadn't seen them for 20 years

Dear Wendyl, Recently there was a report in the paper about the number of sexual partners people have in their lifetime. My husband read it and asked me how many I have had, so I told him. He was really shocked and said he had no idea when he married me 25 years ago that […]

Dear Wendyl, my girlfriends say I'm not open with them enough about difficulties in my personal life

Dear Wendyl, I've been seeing a man in what I thought was a casual relationship where we meet up, go out, sleep together and generally have fun. We're both in our forties...

Sleeping in separate bedrooms is usually something couples only do after a fight, or because someone is snoring or has a bad cough. But what happens when the person in the spare room doesn't come back to the bedroom?

Connect with us on facebook to receive relationship advice and more! Dear Wendyl oy husband and I are in our mid-fifties and we have a pretty good marriage, I think. But recently he’s been pressuring me to “spice up” our sex life with suggestions of different things we can do. I try to understand, but […]

Have you noticed time alone with your husband now consists of discussing nappy changing rosters, or your boyfriend has bought you household appliances for the fifth birthday running?

Many women spend hours scanning their husband's text messages, but sometimes things that look suspicious can be perfectly innocent.

My husband and I got married last year, and it would be fair to say it was a whirlwind romance. We moved in together after a month and were married eight months later.

Work trips are usually about getting some business done, but sometimes the partner at home thinks there's other business being attended to.

Dear Wendyl, After Christmas last year I finally got the courage to leave my abusive partner. There was an incident where he lost his temper for what felt like the millionth time and started throwing furniture...

Paying your own way is something most of us aim to do. But sometimes it's easier for one person to put their hands in their pockets, especially if they earn more, which means the other one may feel inadequate.

Parenting your partner's children is a tough job, but a necessary one. As much as you may clash, you can't have a relationship with someone and pretend their children don't exist.

Long-distance relationships can be maintained more easily these days with the help of the internet, but sometimes one partner can decide to move away and has no interest in keeping the love going.

Not all men who suddenly take an interest in their appearance are having affairs. Sometimes they just want to feel good about themselves.

A single incidence of bad behaviour from your partner can signal deeper problems...

Dividing up property when a marriage ends can be difficult for both parties. But once you've decided who gets what, that should be the end of the matter.

Taking on a new partner when you have been on your own for a while is a big decision, especially when you have children. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's important to remember that kids come first.

Dear Wendyl oy husband and I have always had a very good sex life, but now we are in our forties things have started going a little soft – if you know what I mean. I’ve read that this is common for some men, so I don’t make a big fuss when it happens, but […]

When it comes to relationships, communication is key, and that's especially true for new partnerships. Smooth the way in the early days by honestly expressing how you feel.

It can sometimes be tempting to try to go back in time and resume a relationship from your past, but as the saying goes, leopards don't often change their spots

When it comes to maintaining a (very) happy and healthy sex life within your long-term relationship, the key is good communication

Dear Wendyl, my husband and I have been married for four years and have a gorgeous little 18-month-old girl. My problem is that since she was born, my husband hasn't come near me.

Toxic relationships can be very distressing when they affect someone you love. But battling the relationship can sometimes just make things worse

When a partner suffers from depression, it can place a lot of stress on the other person in the relationship. But sharing that load with friends and family can make it easier to cope and provide some relief from the situation.

Dear Wendyl, I am 60 years old and work part-time in my own business, which I have run for the past 30 years. I had always intended to keep working well into my seventies, but some recent health problems mean I need to slow down and possibly sell the business. oy problem is that my […]

One of the leading causes of upset in a marriage is dealing with financial issues. But usually it's about trying to make ends meet - no dealing with a husband who has spent all the couple's savings.

Lots of New Zealanders are starting up small businesses at home to make ends meet, but sometimes not everyone is happy about the change in lifestyle this can mean...

It's an art we can all master, says Wendyl Nissen.

When couples find themselves living in an empty nest they often decide to sell up and downsize. However, sometimes leaving the family home can be a bit difficult...

Everyone is guilty of telling the occasional white lie to their partner, but when one of you gets caught out on a whopper, it's time to have a closer look at exactly what's going on.

There are some men who might be fun for a fling, but not a serious relationship says Dr Rosie, author of Good Loving, Good Sex.

Friendships can be for life, if you are lucky. But sometimes you need a bit of give and take to let each other grow in different directions and make choices each of you might not necessarily agree with.

Getting the balance right between socialising and spending time at home can be tough for some people. But it can be even tougher when a tendency to drink too much gets in the way...

Society often tells us that men want sex more than women. But what happens when your man seems to have gone off the boil? Women tend to take this personally, but often it has nothing to do with you, or your partner no longer finding you attractive. There are many reasons why your man’s attentions may […]

You are still in love with your partner but perhaps the overwhelming physical desire has worn off. You are committed to each other, but you’re worried about the state of affairs in the bedroom. Here are a few tips for putting the passion back in your relationship: Make time Examine your lifestyle and make sure […]

How can you make your relationship prosper over the years and keep it safe from affairs? It’s important to know what you can do to strengthen your connection and keep your marriage vibrant and healthy. A rewarding, satisfying marriage that meets the needs of both partners is your best protection against an affair. The following tips […]

Disagreements are part of a healthy relationship and nobody is immune to the occasional big argument. Incorporating two different viewpoints into one happy relationship takes work and how you argue, especially how you end an argument, is vital to the long-term success of your relationship. Here are some tips for how to fight – and […]

Adjusting to the ageing process can affect people in different ways, especially when, after retirement, they find they have extra time on their hands. Sometimes they just need a little help to fill up their days with positive thoughts and activities rather than focusing on negative possibilities.

It's all very well being a good provider, but when a father can't see his way clear to spending just two weeks with his family at Christmas, there are deeper issues going on

It's not fussy to expect that when you say "I love you" to a person you care for, they should reply, "I love you too." If they don't, they've either lost the power of speech or they don't really love you and it's time to find someone who does.

Dear Wendyl, I'm in a good marriage and I love my husband. My problem is that I'm a working mum and when I get exhausted I just don't feel like sex...

Sitting around waiting for The one or or Right is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of a woman doing. Because the reality is that The one and or Right simply don't exist

Dear Wendyl, I was happily married until two months ago, when my wife left me. She had been having an affair for a year and chose him over me. It came as a real shock and I still love her. oy problem is that since she left, two of her friends have been coming over and making a nuisance of themselves. I […]

Dear Wendyl, oy boyfriend of three years has moved in with me, which is really great. My problem is that we are both in our late forties and we both have a house from our previous marriages. We’re living in mine but he refuses to sell his. I just thought instead of charging him rent, it would be easier to sell his house, […]

Marriage is a ticket to the best health - especially for men. A loving relationship is not just good for your emotional well-being - it can also make a difference to your physical health too. Here's how:

The end of your relationship need not mean the end of your family There are no rule books for breaking up a relationship when there are children involved. Parenting children when you are separated is a relatively new trend and there have been few studies to tell us what to do. Traditionally, many men opt […]