Dear Wendyl,
I’ve been seeing a guy for over a year now as basically just sex buddies. However, I have developed feelings for him and am completely confused with how he feels about me. Even though we agreed not to be exclusive, he gets upset when I say I am away/out seeing other guys so can’t see him, despite the fact that I am pretty sure he goes out with other women. After these conversations he gives me the cold shoulder for days, sometimes even weeks.
When I am around at his place or he’s at mine, he gets all cuddly and wants to know all about me – but never tells me anything about himself. We never go out in public and he doesn’t like to be around my flatmates, or me around his, and he never invites me out. We always meet really late at night as well, so I’m not sure if this is because he is ashamed or just trying to hide us. Any advice would be appreciated.
**Confuzled Catherine,
via email**
Dear Confuzled Catherine,
I need you to sit down because you’re not going to like what I have to tell you. This guy is married. He is in another relationship and using you for a bit on the side. He does not value you, he does not respect you, and if you continue to see him you will end up very unhappy and down on yourself. Sex, late at night, with a man who won’t tell you anything about himself, yet gets jealous and controlling of you, is not okay.
Break it off, give yourself time with your friends to rebuild your confidence and aim for a relationship that makes your life better, not worse.