We all like the idea of being well regarded. But sometimes, the ways we behave can be off-putting to others, and make them turn away from forming bonds with us.
In an article for Psychology Today,
Dr Jill P. Weber explains five ways to make yourself more appealing in any kind of relationship – be that romantic or platonic.
Here are her tips.
Don’t take yourself so seriously
Jill writes that the key here is realising perfection is actually an unachievable and unlikable trait. “It’s being imperfect that puts people at ease,” she writes.
It’s about being open with others so they might be open with you in return. Weber also encourages people to not give attention to perceived insults and let the small stuff slide. Try laughing at yourself when you receive criticism and see how it feels. Either way, she says, “others don’t define you no matter what they say.”
Do the right thing
Doing the right thing by others means being generous to the people in your life. Listen to them, support them, give them your attention. Even if you are worried by the idea that they don’t like you or accept you, doing right by them may bring you validation.
Live for yourself
We all know those individuals who have a real purpose in life. They exude strength because they know what they’re working towards. As yourself the following, says
Weber: “What brings me happiness? What do I want to accomplish in this life? What brings me a feeling of wellbeing and contentment?”
Stop second guessing yourself and start living by your own rules.
Living for yourself is one of the five golden rules
Choose happiness
You’ve probably read elsewhere that happiness is a choice. If you’re happy, others sense this and feel at ease in your presence. The key here is silencing “your inner critic.”
Weber suggests distracting yourself with exercise, reading, work, helping others, and creative work.
Take care of yourself
Taking care of yourself means self-discipline. Eating well, exercising and looking after your emotional health all fall under this bracket, and should all be part of your daily routine.
***Jill Weber is a psychologist from Washington D.C. and author of Building Self Esteem: How to feel ‘Good-Enough’ about yourself.
