Relationships

Greg Boyed's widow posts a touching tribute on the first anniversary of his death

''365 days without you and yet you have been here with me, every single day.''

August 20th marked one year since the tragic death of television presenter Greg Boyed, and his grieving widow Caroline Chevin has posted a poem in tribute to the husband she misses "endlessly."
News of Greg's sudden death shook the nation last year and prompted an outpouring of grief. The TVNZ presenter was on holiday with his family in Switzerland when he passed away. His family released a statement saying the 48-year-old had been suffering from depression.
Greg married Swiss pop singer Carolyn in 2014. Their son, Kian Iraia Cassidy, was born in August the following year. In her tribute, Carolyn spoke of the legacy Greg has left for their son, and the struggle she's faced since he passed.
"365 days without your warm and generous heart," she wrote. "A full year without that winning smile, your unconditional love."
She spoke of the power of Greg's hugs, "the best hugs in the whole wide world," and how their son "has moved into your big steps and has become the best hugger."
She also touched on the dark times Greg had endured, and how sorry she was "that none of us have been able to bring you the light and brighten up your darkest days."
"I am still hoping for you to walk through that door, hoping it was all just a terrible, terrible dream and none of this has ever happened," she continued.
But despite his physical absence, she took solace in the fact that Greg had been with her in spirit.
"365 days without you and yet you have been here with me, every single day. You have supported me and stood by me, like you always have.
"You were kicking my bum whenever I thought, I can't go any further and telling me to be strong, to move on and to live my life to the fullest. For our little boy. For myself. For US."
Greg was one of a number of famous New Zealanders to lend his name to support the Mental Health Foundation's Step Forward campaign in 2015, aimed at stopping mental illness discrimination in New Zealand.
You can read Carolyn's full poem here.
365 days
365 days without your warm and generous heart.
Without that cheeky grin of yours,
That incredible warm voice, the best voice I have ever come across in my entire life,
A full year without that winning smile, your unconditional love, your bloody swearing, your captivating storytelling, I could listen to your stories all day and all night long,
Your brightness, you have been so incredibly smart without even knowing it,
Your vast overall knowledge and your warm big hugs, the best hugs in the whole wide world.
Now our little son has moved into your big steps and has become the best hugger.
This list seems endless.
And that's how much I miss you.. endlessly
But there hasn't only been good.
There has been dark
There has been heavy
And no one has been aware of how dark the places have been and where they have taken you at times…
And I am so, so sorry, that none of us have been able to bring you the light and brighten up your darkest days…
365 days without you.
And I am still hoping for you to walk through that door, hoping it was all just a terrible, terrible dream and none of this has ever happened
365 days without you and yet you have been here with me, every single day.
You have supported me and stood by me, like you always have.
You were kicking my bum whenever I thought, I can't go any further and telling me to be strong, to move on and to live my life to the fullest.
For our little boy
For myself
For US
My love for you did not end 365 days ago
And it never will…
I will see you again my love
Kei te aroha au i a koe.
Where to get help
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 to talk to a trained Depression Helpline counsellor for free. For other mental health issues, call Lifeline on 0800 543 354, the Suicide Crisis Helpline on 0508 TAUTOKO or Youthline on 0800 376 633.