Dear Wendyl,
I’m a divorcee, in my forties and desperate to be in a relationship again. I’ve met guys who I think are right for me, but they don’t seem interested at all – they’re always happy to be friends, yet never want to take things to the next level. I can’t help but wonder if I’m sending out the wrong signals. Do you have any idea what the right signals might be?
Frances, by email
Dear Frances,
This is a tough one for me to answer without knowing what it is you’re doing or not doing. What I do know is that when women try too hard – sending lots of text messages, for example – it’s a big turn-off, and I wonder if this is what you’re doing in your desperation. As hard as this sounds, I would recommend taking the “desperate” out of the equation. Tell yourself that for the next six months you’re just going to concentrate on yourself.
Join clubs, enrol in a course you’ve always wanted to do, maybe do some travel. Every time you feel the urge to show an interest in someone – don’t. Eventually you’ll fi nd that because your focus is on you, not on getting a partner, you’ll be sending the right message – that of a confident, happy woman.
Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142.
