Relationships

Cyber mistrust

Trust is so important if any relationship is going to be truly happy. But what happens when trust is lost all because of a computer? Dear Wendyl, I think my husband has been watching pornography late

Trust is so important if any relationship is going to be truly happy. But what happens when trust is lost all because of a computer?

Dear Wendyl,

I think my husband has been watching pornography late at night on the internet. I got up to go to the bathroom one night recently and saw what he was looking at. He didn’t hear me, so he doesn’t know that I saw him, but I was really shocked. I haven’t said anything to him about it, but it’s really bugging me. What should I do?

Shocked Wife, Wanganui

Dear Shocked Wife,

You need to talk to him and get this out in the open. You would be surprised how much of a problem internet porn can be in relationships because of its addictive nature. Why is your husband up late and not in bed? Is it because he can’t stop doing it? He may be addicted to it and need some help, but primarily you need to have some open communication in your marriage. So talk to him about it and tell him what you saw.

Try to do it without anger or too much emotion. If you shout he’ll just clam up, but talking to him about how it makes you feel might mean he shares with you what he’s doing and you can work on the problem together.

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