A woman from New York celebrated her 107th birthday this week and says that staying single is the reason for her longevity.
“I think the secret of 107: I never got married,” Louise Signore told WCBS. “I think that’s the secret. My sister says, ‘I wish I never got married.'”
Louise is also reported to have followed a healthy diet and exercised regularly all her life – and her sister is 102, so maybe longevity simply runs in the family. But we like her style – there’s far too much preoccupation in the world with being part of a couple.
While most research shows that people in partnerships enjoy a greater sense of wellbeing and are likely to live longer – especially men – married life is not for everyone. In fact, a 2015 study from New Zealand found that people who have a tendency to avoid conflict at all costs are better off on their own. For them, a life alone is much less stressful and fraught.
But there are other health benefits to staying single too.
You sleep better. “I love lying next to my partner and listening to them snore,” said no one ever.
You don’t get dragged down by your partner not meeting your expectations.
Wendy Wasson, a clinical psychologist and founder of MySingleSpace, a site for single adults, claims that people in relationships often assume or expect that their partner will meet their needs and then they’re left disappointed and disillusioned when their partner falls short.
When you’re single you have a strong sense of self. You know who you are and what you want.
“One of the risks of being in a close romantic relationship is that your sense of self can get merged with your partner’s, to the extent that you could lose sight of who you really are,” says Deborah Hecker, author of Who Am I Without My Partner?: Post-Divorce Healing and Rediscovering Your Self in the Sydney Morning Herald.
Case in point, a recently separated friend of mine realised that after many years of watching rugby with her husband, she actually hated watching rugby.
“But it wasn’t until I was no longer with him that I could see that for myself,” she says. “I had always just gone along with what he wanted.”
You’re also more likely to exercise regularly and reap the many rewards from being fit. A UK poll found that among the many people that admitted they did not do a recommended 150 minutes of physical activity per week, 73 per cent were married.
While the obvious reason might be that single people are motivated to ‘stay in shape’ to attract a potential mate, that’s just buying into the stereotype that we’re all desperate to find someone. Could it also possibly be that we’ve got the time for it and are invested in looking after ourselves, so we make it happen? We’re not going to get asked to forfeit our exercise time to help a hapless partner do something instead now, are we.
Single people also report sharing deeper connections with friends, and human connection is hugely important for wellbeing.
While the jury may be out on exactly why Louise is still with us at 107, what she believes to be true could very well be.
There’s more to life than being someone’s Mrs or Mr.
