At home

This viral flatmate checklist shows some people just shouldn’t live with others

No laughing out loud after 11pm.

We're used to reading lists of unreasonable demands in viral threads written by brides-to-be, but a post detailing a very specific checklist for a flatmate in London has Twitter in a spin.

The original listing was posted on flat sharing website SpareRoom, and went viral after Twitter user @rxdazn shared screenshots of the post on Twitter.

The list of requirements starts off with restrictions on when you can use the flat;

"I need you to be out of the flat on week days during normal working hours (9-5) because I work from home 5 days a week and I need the place to myself."

If you're hoping for this sort of scene in your new flat, forget about it. Socialising, watching TV together or cooking together is discouraged.
If you're hoping for this sort of scene in your new flat, forget about it. Socialising, watching TV together or cooking together is discouraged.

Then we get into the bathroom restrictions;

"If you have to run to the toilet 15 times a day or every 15 minutes, don't move in here," they continue.

And then come the noise restrictions;

"My new flatmate has to be a quiet and considerate person. Which means you should use door handles rather than push the doors to slam, and try to behave quietly, especially when it's late or early in the morning, so as not to disturb others. I won't tell you for how long you're allowed to talk a day, it's nonsense… but I don't want to hear noise coming from your room all the time… If you're watching movies without headphones or sports or listen to music, it's the same thing. If you're laughing out loud until after 11pm or sleep with the radio on – still the same thing."

Housemate socialising seems pretty much off the table too;

"This isn't a very sociable house, we don't do parties and we don't really have time to cook together or watch TV together."

It's not just late nights that are a no-no, it's early mornings too;

"There's no cooking in this flat before 8:30am, and after 11pm. Occasionally I will allow it, and you can also make some porridge or use the microwave… In the mornings I need everyone to try to hurry up with their bathroom routine. No one's going to wait for half an hour or wake up much earlier just to be able to take a shower."

And the best part about the post? The person who posted it seems to think they're quite easy-going.

"Please be sure that if we both have an understanding about the above points we won't have any problems. I'm quite easy-going and I 'live and let live'."

This article originally appeared on Grazia.