Judge Jay-Jay shares her advice for starting over

Hi Jay-Jay,

I'm a 57-year-old female who is experiencing an overwhelming sense of extreme fear due to the end of a relationship. At this stage, I am unemployed and I have small dogs, so renting is going to be difficult. How do I start over? I'm sure I'm not the only one going through this.

Winning Lotto or being offered a live-in position at a kennel somewhere would be my saving grace right now – somewhere safe and warm to live with my dogs. I'm looking for the stability of employment to pay my living expenses.

People do offer to help if they can, but at the end of the day, I need somewhere for me and my beautiful dogs to live, and a job to pay our way. I'm willing to look at all options, including shifting locations, but I'm not sure where to start or where to look. Can you help?

Debbie, Waikato

Hi Debbie,

I'm so sorry you are in this position. The end of a relationship is always very stressful, especially if you have lived together. I hope you are getting through the grief of that OK. Make sure you lean on good friends when you need to.

Now, regarding your living and financial situation… I'm a dog lover, so I know how heartbreaking it would be to have to give up your dogs.

You have to be realistic here and that may mean a transition that is not up to your usual standards. There are landlords and flatmates who will allow pets, so start there in your search for a home.
Renting an entire place will cost a lot and you probably can't afford that right now, so do not dismiss the idea of moving into an established home with flatmates until you can find work and afford somewhere better.

I looked on Trade Me under "flatmates wanted in Waikato, pets OK" and there are 25 options. Some of them look fantastic! You could pay about $150 to $250 a week for your own room and be allowed
to have your dogs. This is a great start.

Once you have sorted that, you can go job hunting.

At the time of writing this, there is a kennel job going in Manawatū with "possible accommodation". How's that?! Something like this could be good for the interim until you get everything else in your life sorted and then you can look to find another job or use your new experience at the kennel to move up the ranks.

It's not going to be easy, but if you're open to it, you can actually move forward easier than you think.

Best of luck, Jay-Jay