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Kim Cattrall's heartache over her brother's death and why we need to talk more openly about suicide

''No-one can prepare you.''

She made her name playing the sexually liberated Samantha Jones on Sex and the City, but it was a much more serious Kim Cattrall who shared her heartache last week as she talked about the death of her brother.
Confirming for the first time that her younger sibling Chris took his own life last year, Kim was candid as she admitted his death had left her broken and feeling she would never be the same.
"No-one can prepare you. He was suffering from depression, but depression is a curious thing and it can be impossible to detect if someone doesn't want you to know. I didn't know. We [the family] didn't know.
"And when you lose someone to suicide there is always the question, 'If I could only have... if I did only... if I was only...' and it haunts you. You have to learn to live with those endless questions, the endless guilt, the endless frustration every day because you are in a new reality and there is nothing you can do to change it."
Chris, who lived in Alberta, Canada with his wife Morgan and their seven dogs, went missing on January 30, 2018. Concerns were raised when his keys, cellphone and wallet were found strewn on the kitchen table and he'd left the house without locking the front door.
Kim turned to her almost half a million followers on Instagram, begging for their help to find him. "This is not like Chris," she wrote. "He would never leave his unlocked home without those items nor his 7 beloved dogs."

A few days later, Chris' remains were discovered on his property and the devastated actress broke the news to the world in a moving post.
"It is with great sadness that myself and my family announce the unexpected passing of our son and brother Chris Cattrall," she wrote.
"At this time we ask for privacy. We want to thank you all on social media for your outpouring of love and support in this trying time."
A few weeks later the Liverpool-born actress travelled to Scotland, lighting a candle in a church in honour of Chris – but the grieving process had really only just begun.
Eventually she found that going for walks helped to soothe the deep "well of sadness" inside her.
Now, the 62-year-old says she feels it's "hugely important" to talk about suicide more openly.
"It's hard to talk about suicide and I also don't think, in our society today, we are very good with grief. But since we lost Chris, so many people have privately shared their losses of family members or friends and you realise suicide is an epidemic. It's just that we don't talk about it.
"Chris was a very sweet man who was quiet about his needs and wants and that is how he died. It is unbearably sad. He left behind a lot of people who loved him. I have never been to AA, but I now know the wisdom of the rule of taking one day at a time. It is all you can do."
Kim saysshe was never friendswith her Sex and the City co-stars.
Eighteen months on, Kim now has a different outlook on life and also her career, saying she's only drawn to work that "makes me happy" – and that means not reprising her iconic Sex and the City role.
During the ground-breaking show's six-year run, rumours constantly swirled about bad blood between Kim and fellow star Sarah Jessica Parker, who played Carrie Bradshaw.
That feud was seemingly confirmed when Kim lashed out at her former colleague in the wake of her brother's death.
After Sarah (54) posted a message of condolence on Instagram, Kim responded with, "My Mom asked me today, 'When will that
@sarahjessicaparker, that hypocrite, leave you alone?' Your continuous reaching out is a painful reminder of how cruel you really were, then and now. Let me make this VERY clear (if I haven't already). You are not my family. You are not my friend. So I'm writing to tell you one last time to stop exploiting our tragedy in order to restore your 'nice girl' persona."
Kim had previously told interviewer Piers Morgan in 2017 that during their reign on Sex and the City, Sarah "could have been nicer" adding, "I don't know what her issue is, I never have."
Her resolve to not work with the Divorce star again appears to be set in stone.
"Never," the actress said recently when asked about the third movie. "It's a 'no' from me. You learn lessons in life, and my lesson is to do work with good people and try and make it fun."
Word has it that the script for the movie – in which Mr Big dies – has been gathering dust for years, with Sarah referring to it as "beautiful, funny, heart-breaking, joyful and very relatable".
But Kim says her choice to pass on the project "is an empowered decision in my life, to end one chapter and start another."
Need to talk?
1737 – free call or text 24/7 to talk to a trained counsellor
Lifeline – 0800 543 354
Depression Helpline – 0800 111 757
Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)
Healthline – 0800 611 116
Samaritans – 0800 726 666
Information about suicide prevention
can be found at mentalhealth.org.nz/suicideprevention.

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