I don’t want to brag, but I actually started skiing when I was about five years old: a small, plump child in a neon pink suit (it was the 80s) and rainbow sunglasses.
My family and I would go to the snow every year: Mum would stay behind, drink hot chocolates and sew, and Dad and I would hit Happy Valley for the day (even as a child I knew my limits).
Then I took a tiny break from skiing for 20 years but always assumed it would be like, you know, riding a bike. You never forget how to ski – surely?
Things start of well when I accidentally take the wrong turn off and we turn up to Snow Planet 20 minutes late. So instead of having an hour to teach us how to ski, our lovely instructor only has 40 minutes.
We quickly clamber into our skiing gear and head out onto the snow.
Snow Planet may just be a very large warehouse filled with artificial snow but, let me tell you, it feels like the real thing.
Firstly, it’s huge. So huge there are two ski tows to get skiiers up the fake mountain. Secondly, it’s very cold, the temperature gauge hovers around -6˚C the whole time.
But most importantly, there is a roaring fire where you can drink hot chocolates. This turns out to be crucial for our emotional health later on (there is whiskey involved).
Our instructor, a lovely girl from Austria, talks us through the basic ski moves: stopping, turning, etc and we tootle about on the flat area for a while. As we queue up to take the ski tow, I’m already struggling to control my skis and we’re still on the easy flat bit.
Suddenly, as I approach the ski tow, I have a movie-style flashback of all the times that I struggled with it as a child and I just know this is not going to go well.
I am correct.
Over the next half an hour, the skiing is fine – I fall over once – but the ski tow is a never-ending nightmare. As soon as I try to get off it, I start sliding down the hill, even as The Austrian tries in vain to catch me.
One time, I fall over and start sliding down the ski-tow lane, like a bowling ball about to knock over the pins/fellow skiiers. Luckily (!), I instead slid right into a wall and snap both my skiis off instead.
Also, my ski pants are too tight across my Beyonce thighs and this makes getting up very difficult every time.
But as for the skiing – it is fine and The Austrian is an excellent teacher. And as long as I never have to use a ski tow again in my life, I feel like I’ll be good at it.
So cross country skiing it is!
Where do we do it: Snowplanet, 91 Small Road, Silverdale, Auckland.
Verdict: Whether you’re hitting the slopes for the first time or, like me, you want a refresher course because you accidentally stopped skiing for two decades, Snow Planet is a great way to get yourself snow ready. Either you’ll come away filled with enthusiasm to plan a trip to the snow, or you’ll be very grateful you practised in a low-risk area where you couldn’t fall off an actual mountain.
We have a Snowplanet lesson, a day pass, ski and clothing hire for one person to win. To enter, visit our Facebook page.
*Sinead and Emma are the Anything But The Gym girls. Bored with standard workouts, they have begun the hunt for new and fun ways to get fit. Follow their weekly adventures here, and in New Zealand Good Health Choices. If you have a suggestion for something interesting for them to try, email [email protected] with Anything But The Gym in the subject line.
The Anything But The Gym Girls are now on Instagram! Follow them @theanythingbutthegymgirls to keep up with their fitness adventures.*
