In a surprisingly cat-fight-free episode, Angela revealed her softer side and a naked long-haired man made a guest appearance in the latest instalment of Real Housewives of Auckland.
This week the show started off with Angela going for a brisk stroll with 16-year-old daughter number two, while eerie music played in the background – perhaps a foreshadow of the emotional rollercoaster Angela takes us on this episode.
Her daughter Eva is grumpy that Angela has been MIA for business, so tells her mum she has to accompany her to all her upcoming pamper sessions for her school ball, sans her work cellphone.
“No problems, no worries,” assures Angie.
Her face says otherwise.
“Lots of worries”
‘Fiercely independent’ eldest daughter Isabella later sasses her mum over dinner.
“I know I’ve been out of the loop a bit,” Angie apologises to her kids. “remember me?”
“Nah.”
“You guys know I don’t want to stay away from you guys.”
“I don’t care mum.”
Whatever mum
The first ascent on the Angie rollercoaster is when she takes us through a sober montage of Christchurch, reminiscing about the devastating impact of the earthquakes.
We then join Julia, Anne and her unnervingly charming 12-year-old nephew “George Clooney junior” for lunch.
“The good looks, the high grades, the high vocabulary, they get me the girls,” boasts Little George.
Lady killer
Anne and Julia attempted to set up George junior (real name Rohan) and Julia’s 13-year-old daughter who’s a dead ringer for Cindy Crawford’s daughter Kaia Gerb
George junior and Cindy junior weren’t keen at all on the set-up (shocking), ignored each other and texted the entire time.
Get me out of here
GC junior also demonstrated he has the family sassy gene, and fires some zingers at Anne across the table.
“From what I gather from my father, there have been a lot of boys you’ve liked.”
Just like the real George Cloon, we then discovered that Rohan is a hit with the females and actually already has a girlfriend.
“Love you, loveheart, loveheart, loveheart,” he texted the lucky lady.
We then jetted off to Paritai Drive to visit Louise and Angie, who is revealing the sexy cover of her new book Being Real.
“How real are we talking?” Louise asked, “Really real,” replied Angela.
The self-proclaimed realest Real Housewife Angie then compared herself to a marshmallow, soft and vulnerable.
“I’m just a little girl called Angie”.
The Angie emotional rollercoaster then made its slow climb up to its highest peak this episode, when she revealed while holding back tears that she had “endured a lot more than most”.
She confessed that she was raised by her grandmother from the age of two, along with her twin brother who she was very close with but “we don’t know where he is right now”.
Ang explains that because of this, she tries to help as many other people as possible with her self-help empire.
“I feel absolutely broken, I can’t do anything about this one. As a family for us it’s harrowing actually, there’s a hole in my heart.”
A teary-eyed Louise comforted Angela, and we are all left wondering where her bro is.
We then join Gilda and Anne at an art class which poor sweet Anne has not realised is a life-drawing lesson with a real life naked man.
That’s not a bunch of bananas?
Never disappointing “Naughty Gilda” whips out another zinger.
“I didn’t think Anne was going to be fazed by this, after all, she’s had seven fiances, she’s seen enough naked men not to get scared.”
That evening we are introduced to Angie’s skype boyfriend Kirk.
He greets her with a bouquet of flowers, before grabbing her bum, launching into a passion pash fest over the dinner table, and telling her he wants to hang out with his mates more.
Poor Angie has really been through the wars this episode, and we’re all sending her virtual hugs and inspirational Pinterest quotes.
The episode finishes off with the whole girl gang competing in a car race.
Louise takes out the fastest hot lap time, and the gals celebrate with some champagne.
The final peak on Angie’s emotional rollercoaster is when she breaks down crying about her boyfriend problems, and we’re all sort of secretly glad to see there is a real human behind that sharky smile and personal brand obsession.
In a shocking twist, the episode actually ends on a drama-free note, with the ladies bonding Taylor-Swift-girl-squad-style over Angie’s crap boyfriend.
