These days, if workplaces still had water coolers, all the Bach-aholics here at Woman’s Day HQ would be standing around it having a good ol’ “chinwag” (big props to Jordan for bringing this ancient term back last night)!
Alas, we just sip on our double-shot, soy, no froth, extra hot flat whites and spend the morning in a group huddle recapping on the previous night’s ep. And if our editor is reading this, we are working too.
Here’s what we overheard!
Naz and Claudia hatch a plan during a walk on the island.
Art who? We LOVE Jordy!
“I don’t like to cause trouble …” Er, Naz, we’re calling bulls***!
How about them bitter bachelorettes scheming in their active wear?
Bachelor pad on Waiheke Island is a bit of an upgrade from last series. The other girls must be spewing!
Naz: “I’m really good at reading people” … then proceeds to try to impress a bloke by having a whinge and completely getting it wrong by saying Metz will quit.
Ok, that’s the second time we’ve seen Jordy take a sexy shower. I wonder if his general hygiene is always so steamy!
How white are Mike Puru’s teeth? Blinding!
Jordan shows off his wakeboarding moves – we think Sarah was definitely impressed!
Jordan on Sarah’s attempts at wakeboarding: “She’s struggling to get up, but she keeps on trying.” Hope she doesn’t have to say this about him later in the series!
That kiss in the water. Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation! It certainly revived Sarah’s attempts at wakeboarding …
Also, kissing already? Steady on, Billy big balls (We still love you, Matoots!)
Naz’s face when Sarah admitted she got a kiss! If looks could kill …
“Sarah’s my hairdresser!” “Is she nice?” “Meh…”
Erin is a super yacht masseuse? Is that a real job? Where do we sign up?
“Those girls aren’t real. They’re fake. They’re not nice girls.” – says Naz, the Disney cartoon evil villain.
Jordan steals Fleur away for some one-on-one time during the group date.
Our Kate with her sausage joke. “Depends on the size!” Amen.
Jordan’s unsubtle “rose behind the back” technique made things v awkward at the group date. Lucky Fleur!
“I’ve let people get in my way in the past.” – Naz, standing over a pile of dead bodies.
I’ve got it. Naz is totally Ja’mie King
Shari: “We spoke for 10 seconds. A beautiful 10 seconds. And then he got up and left.” So awkward. Poor Shazza!
Fleur crying when she hears Metz is going? Er, you’ve known her five mins. Maybe just a case of too much wine? Ps. Where’s all the Lindauer at?
Metz: “You might be my cousin!” Plot twist: Jordan reveals he’s related to each and every girl in the mansion.
Shari: “There’s a 50:50 chance I’m going home.” Er, there are 18 girls and 17 roses. Not quite sure she has her maths right …
Poor Catherine was totally convinced Jordan liked her. “He’s just missed out on someone who was absolutely amazing. It’s his loss for sure.” Do you reckon she asked for her heart back?
