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Married at First Sight NZ: Ben opts for singledom over life with Aaron

An emotional finale...

By Caitlin Watkins

Right from the get go, there has always been a road block in Ben and Aaron's marriage especially on the basis of attraction and intimacy.

At their wedding, it was clear that Ben wasn't feeling at all attracted to his new husband, with hardly making eye contact during the ceremony and fidgeting. Unfortunately, it seems that throughout the pair's entire 6 week journey, Ben's feelings didn't change.

During Ben and Aaron's honeymoon, Aaron tried his very best to create a spark by being intimate towards Ben, however this seemed to push him further away. It's safe to say the honeymoon was very awkward, with Ben telling Aaron that he wasn't "the guy he would usually go for" and witnessing the two share separate baths.

Ben, 26, and Aaron, also 26, both gave their marriage a good shot and had some great times together, such as their canyoning experience where the two were seen smiling together.

The boys on their canyoning date.
The boys on their canyoning date.
The boys preparing for their date.
The boys preparing for their date.

Although Ben could be sassy, especially with his grooming tips for Aaron, Aaron was patient and could find the humour.

However, sometimes it wasn't always humorous, and the boys definitely had a few brawls that ended in tears.

Aaron during a fight with Ben.
Aaron during a fight with Ben.
The tension got high between the boys.
The tension got high between the boys.

There was big discussion between the two of who would move where on the basis of living together, with Ben saying he would "probably rather swallow razor blades than live anywhere else in New Zealand."

Aaron, however, was open to moving to Auckland, as long as there was a guarantee that they would stay for two years, so he could finish his studies.

We felt hopeful, although it was clear that Ben wasn't prepared to remain in Auckland for that long.

The two discussing their future plans.
The two discussing their future plans.

During therapy sessions, Ben and Aaron did agree to remain in the experiment and make it work, however Ben's face always seemed to say something else.

Ben during a therapy session.
Ben during a therapy session.

As the experiment has come to an end, we see the pair standing across from each other declaring their final vows and their final decision on whether they will remain with one another.

Aaron was the first to declare his vows.

"Ben, to say that this journey hasn’t been easy would be the understatement of the year. We’ve been through some tough, some sad and some extremely stressful times, but most importantly we’ve had some really happy fun and exciting times.

"Here we are, standing together, six weeks later with rings still on our fingers. I think this alone is a huge testament to us for sticking to our guns and working through our differences rather than running from them. Although our relationship isn’t perfect, we’ve made huge leaps since that day we met at the altar.

"Let's be honest though, it’s been tough. I know that we’ve both had times where we thought, why on earth have we been matched? He's not what I asked for, and neither am I to him.

"We've both vented to family and friends about our frustrations, and we’ve had our days we’re the last thing we want is to be around each other. But also remember some of the great days we’ve had together, from our day hiking at the gorge, to a trip to the lighthouse, sipping wine on Waiheke, to having a boogie in heavy traffic, abseiling down waterfalls, to watching TV on the couch.

"These are the times that I want us to remember, and these are the times that I want to continue. What I want out of this relationship is clear; I want to be married to my best friend.

"I want to spend my happy and sad days with you, going on adventures, and just lazing on the couch. I want us to enjoy being around each other, being excited to see each other when we get home, talk rubbish, dance in the car, and be a world class team in all that we do.
"Clearly this is something that won’t come over night, and will take time to grow between us. But I hope that with time we can overcome the issues that stand in our way and our relationship will grow.

"Although I cannot yet make a commitment to move to Auckland and live with you, I think we’re both really clear on the reasons why, I want to continue to work on our relationship, as hard as it may be through long distance, with the hopes that soon we can reach a point where we can make that commitment together.

"I know that I often struggle to put my feelings into words, so I want you to take this letter, keep it, and whenever you’re struggling to understand how I’m feeling, just read it, because I know it’ll help make things clear.”

Yes, the tears are flowing at this point.

Next it's Ben's turn, and it's clear he's feeling the nerves.

“Dear Aaron, today we stand in front of each other much like we did six weeks ago at our beautiful wedding. Only this time, we're no longer strangers but two well and truly acquainted people.

"We've seen the absolute best, and absolute worst in each other, the past six weeks have been some of the hardest in my life, and I wouldn’t have been able to get through them with anyone else.

"On our wedding day, we both had high hopes of what this experiment would bring us, and I’m sure I speak for both of us when I say we got a lot more than what we bargained for. "You got a husband, who is babe.com, but an absolute handful, and for sticking it out this far you 100% deserve a medal.

"I got a husband who is kind at heart, who is caring, who brings me coffee because he knows I'm a little brat in the morning without it, who puts up with Taylor Swift on a repeat on our car rides, and will always make sure there’s a bottle of red wine waiting for me when I get home.

"Granted these things are amazing, and I truly appreciate them, we’ve always had some speed bumps and some absolute brick walls. "I've found that, when I've needed you the most, you haven’t always been at my side, and when I've needed the truth, I've always received a reassuring smile, when that’s not always what you’ve wanted to say. "In a relationship for me, honesty and loyalty are absolute cornerstones, and they haven’t always been present as we’ve weaved through our time together.

"Although those have been speed bumps along the way, they were something you promised to work on, which I know you’ve been consciously doing so. Which brings me to our brick wall. From the moment we married I’ve maintained that you didn’t fit the brief physically, and who I was looking for, for a partner.

"We’ve vowed to stick out the experiment on the advice of the experts, that over time it would grow. It’s been my biggest challenge, and a black dog if you will, that’s always hung around for me. "Which is why, today sticking to our cornerstone of honesty, I can no longer carry on this relationship with you."

It begins to rain and the pair have a final hug - talk about a sad ending!

Aaron looks blank and we can't help but feel sorry for him standing alone after Ben leaves.

It's sad to see Ben and Aaron's experience come to an end, but we wish them both the very best for their futures!