Married at First Sight NZ bride Ottie Schwartz refers to her breasts as her "sacks of insecurity", but she has no regrets about the boob job she got at age 26, insisting, "How I look is not the most important thing about me."
The upfront Christchurch promotions manager, 32, was holidaying in Thailand when she was offered reduced-rate surgery to take her from a B-cup to a DD. She recalls, "I'm a strong feminist, so I flip-flopped, but in the end, I love the female form and wanted more boobs. The discount sealed the deal."
However, when Ottie awoke from the operation, she was "heartbroken".
She tells, "I was so sad for my body, I apologised to it like 20 times. I really struggled. It was ridiculous to go under the knife and it's sad to walk around with these things, but I talk openly about it to warn other women that you have to treat a boob job like a new handbag – it's just an accessory and won't change how you feel inside."
Though their honeymoon in Bali was idyllic, Ottie and her MAFS groom Gareth Noble, 26, have since butted heads over starting a family, with the blonde bombshell not keen on having children, while the Cromwell barber can't wait to be a dad.
And Ottie is standing by her decision, even though it's given her anxiety in the past.
She explains, "I was always quite comfortable with the fact I didn't want kids, but people kept asking me why and I didn't have an answer, so I went through counselling to tackle the issue, which opened a Pandora's box of emotions.
"It triggered a lot of anxiety, to the point where I'd wake up with my heart racing like I was running away from a wolf in a forest. I'd panic every time the phone rang. But seeing some of my friends divorce after having two or three kids has made my decision more solid."
Ottie opens up about her marriage to Gareth
How do you feel seeing yourself on screen?
I feel like you're seeing the real me. What surprised me was how much I really do rabbit on about stuff. Why do I say things like that?! I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Some people will think I'm cool and some people will be horrified.
Your honeymoon looked really romantic. How was it in real life?
It was fun getting to know each other in a beautiful setting. The views and warm weather really take the pressure off. Everything in life is great when you're on holiday.
So was it a shock getting back to the real world?
As you're getting to know someone, there are always bumps. There are times you don't see eye to eye. My emotions were running high because I'd just married a stranger and been sent to Bali – amazing! Back in reality, a few cracks are going to show. And those cracks can get bigger.
Is the six-year difference a problem?
For me, the age gap wasn't an issue – it's where we are in life. At 26, you're still deciding which city you'll settle in and whether you'll buy a home. Will you get married? Do you want children? What age we're at is more the problem. I'm really true to myself, so there's no point him changing who he is or me changing who I am to suit a relationship someone else chose for us. Like what happened with some of the other couples, someone is a bit more keen than the other person. There's nothing you can do about that. You can lie, but it doesn't work.
Are you worried about how you'll look if you break Gareth's heart?
I'm not a villain. I'm upfront and blunt, which doesn't go down that well when it comes to women. I may be portrayed as quite a strong personality who isn't very compromising. I've had to be like that in my life to get to where I am on my own two feet. I don't apologise for it. I've got a big, open heart with everybody. I really do love people. I'm not a bitch, but I get to the point very quickly and don't beat around the bush.
Is there another contestant you think could've been a better match for you than Gareth?
I love all of them, but there was no desire for any husband or wife-swapping! We have talked about forming a cult and all moving in together.