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The Bachelor Australia premiere: The funniest, wildest and most cringeworthy moments

Thank you Nick Cummins for just existing.
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It’s been an epic buildup, but The Bachelor Australia 2018 is officially here. And the premiere episode did not disappoint.

As promised, former Wallabies player Nick Cummins is the biggest breath of fresh air to grace the franchise and the Honey Badger’s intuitive nature and cheeky personality has wooed all of Australasia.

So behold – we’ve rounded up the best moments from The Bachelor premiere!

1. Hold onto your hats, there are A LOT of steamy moments ahead

We counted at least three different make-out sessions between Nick Cummins and several mystery women in the opening teaser showing what we can expect this season.

From a beach-side romp, to a steamy pool pash – the new Bachelor isn’t afraid to get down and dirty with his female flames.

Looks like it could be the cover of an erotic fiction novel!

Nick’s biceps are almost too big to fit in the frame here.

Wowsers!

2. When Nick took Shannon for a “lap” to calm her nerves… and compared her to a thoroughbred horse

You can hardly blame the human ray of sunshine that is Shannon for feeling a bit jittery after meeting Nick on the red carpet.

Proving he really is in tune with female energies, Nick decided to take “Shaz” for a “trot” to help calm her jitters.

“I’m sh—–g my dacks,” the 25-year-old beauty admitted. (That’s Australian for “I’m so nervous I feel like I could have a poo.”)

“I’m feeling nervous too! You know horses before they race? They take them for a walk and then everything cools down! Being a thoroughbred yourself…” Nick says as he leads Shannon around the candle-lit garden for a soothing potter.

Smooooooth, Nick.

“You’re awesome, I love you,” Shaz tells Nick as he takes her on an anti-anxiety walk.

3. Is Cayla’s love rock the new pot plant of 2018?

What’s a season of The Bachelor without an energy healer?

Enter Cayla, who is into crystals and punctuating every sentence with the word “legit.”

Rocking up with a very revealing slit at the front of her dress and a rose quartz crystal, which she recently purchased to help “attract love and marriage”, the 27-year-old selflessly gifts the gemstone to Nick, instructing him to keep it by his bed at the Bachelor mansion.

“I bought this for myself around six weeks ago to attract love and marriage. I’m gifting it to you to wish you luck on your journey,” she says.

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After a slight wardrobe malfunction, Cayla recovered to make a lasting first impression.

Will Cayla’s love rock win Nick over?

4. When Nick was reunited with his former flame Cass Wood

Imagine walking out to meet your mystery Bachelor only to find that you’ve dated him before. Well, that’s exactly what happened to poor Cass. And it was equal parts awkward and electrifying, proving there’s a definite spark still lingering.

“We know each other pretty well. We had a couple of dates. The timing wasn’t right because she was doing her thing, I was doing my thing,” Nick admits.

We can’t wait to see how it plays out between the pair!

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They’ve still got it! It doesn’t take a body language expert to see Nick and Cass have a spark.

5. When “Dasha from Russia” dry-humped Nick

Look, she may have literally leapt onto the Honey Badger and wrapped her legs around his shoulders but kudos to Dasha for mixing things up and giving us the most memorable red carpet arrival of the night.

“I totally used that one just to touch you,” she cackles.

And something tells us Nick didn’t mind one iota.

6. When Cat called Sophie a basic b—h

And we have our first manufactured fight of the season with Cass labelling Sophie a “basic b—h” for allegedly dating her ex.

“I think Nick will think she’s a basic b—h who doesn’t have much to offer,” Cass fumes.

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7. When Cayla’s stunt bombed out

In a desperate attempt to get Nick’s attention, Cayla decides to jump into the pool.

The deafening sound of crickets can be heard as her snarky co-stars tell her: “Way to ruin a good dress, babe!”

“He’s not going to give that drowned rat a rose,” Blair adds.

Ouch!

8. So long, farewell to Urszula, Autumn, Susie

Gone too soon!

But also, onya Nick for chopping three babes on night one.

RIP to the night one evictees.

The Bachelor Australia airs every Tuesday and Wednesday on Bravo at 8:30pm.

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