When Woman’s Day catches up with Silver Ferns shooter Maria Tutaia, there’s so much swirling around in her head, it’s hard for her to get the right words out.
A lot has happened in the last few weeks, she says, confessing her team’s heartbreaking three-goal loss in the Netball World Cup final against Australia is still raw. The stunning sports star has some tough decisions to make about the next stage of her life, but she’s remarkably upbeat.
“Despite everything, I found a new Maria this year,” the 28-year-old insists. “I’ve got a new lease of life – not only on the court, but off it as well.”
While words aren’t coming easily, what the 102-test veteran can say is that she’s taking some time out from netball to give herself a break and think about what the future might hold.
This week, she’s poolside in Phuket, Thailand, for some much-needed post-World Cup frivolity, before treating her folks to a three-week European escapade as a thank you for their support throughout the years.
“Oh, my gosh, I’m so excited about that,” she grins. “My brother plays rugby in France, and Mum and Dad have never seen him play. It’ll test my patience, definitely, but the last two years have been tough and they’ve been through everything with me. They deserve a treat.”
Her newfound positivity is thanks to one of the most challenging periods of her career. Maria’s devastating tendon injury this time last year resulted in a long, frustrating recovery, but it also led to her playing better netball – and it changed her whole outlook on life.
Maria is embracing a newfound positivity
Big decisions
“I truly believe everything happens for a reason,” she says. “I was rigid. I was superstitious. I had my set ways of doing things and that was the only way I could be happy. But I realised I wasn’t enjoying the little things. I lost my joy and had to change. Now I’m like, ‘Mate, whatever makes you happy, just do it.’ I’ve found my passion for the game again.”
Part of the athlete’s quest for personal happiness is taking time out for herself – as a person, not a Silver Fern or a member of the Northern Mystics. So does this mean dating could be on the cards?
“Dating?!” she repeats with a laugh. “I’d like to date, I guess, but there’s no-one who’s standing out for me at the moment. I’m happy dating myself!”
Yet surely a session on dating app Tinder couldn’t hurt, right? “Hey, there you go – that’s an idea!” Maria giggles. “One of the girls in the team was talking about that the other day, actually. She told me to get it. Yup, write that down – I’m downloading it today! Oh, wait, is it swipe left for no and right for yes?”
However, any potential suitors may have to wait a while, with Maria’s focus firmly on herself until she’s made some tough choices about her career with the Ferns. The R word – retirement – rears its ugly head.
Maria acknowledges it’s a big decision, but she insists, “I’m very, very happy doing what I’m doing at the moment. I don’t even want to think about it right now because I have no idea. I just want to go away for a bit.”
Yet she can’t help but think about that final game against Australia. After beating the defending champions in pool play, the Ferns knew they could do it again, but a first-quarter shocker led them to playing catch-up for the entire game.
With a minute and a half left on the clock, Maria believed her team could pull off a miracle.
“With 49 seconds to go, I still thought we could do it,” she recalls. Then, with 20 seconds left, the realisation that there would be no fairytale ending for the embattled Ferns came crashing down. The Diamonds clinched the gold medal, 58 to 55.
“Well, I chucked a few F-bombs, let’s just say,” Maria confesses. “We just needed another minute. We had it.”
Maria in action on the netball court
Tears & triumph
Disappointment, shock and emptiness followed. It was a tough campaign for the Silver Ferns, who were written off as no-hopers soon after the team was announced.
“It was pretty sad, the lack of support we had,” says Maria. “For a small country, we should be uplifting each other, not tearing each other down. But in the end, we played for ourselves and we proved we were capable.”
Maria played her “surreal” 100th test match for New Zealand during the tournament. “I was such a sook!” she laughs. “I cried for the entire day. It was just such an honour. I didn’t mean to be so emotional, but it was one of the best days of my life.”
Maria doesn’t know how many more games she’ll play in that little black dress but she insists she has no regrets.
“Honestly, this World Cup was so much fun. I’ve been a Fern for 10 years and, as a team, we enjoyed the little moments. Coming into the tournament, I was pretty sure that this was my last World Cup, so I wanted us to have a blast because that’s when we play our best netball.
“And that’s exactly what we did. We never gave up, even though we had our backs up against the wall. I hope we made people proud because, I tell you, we’re proud.”
