With his gappy teeth, camp-as-Christmas voice and thick black glasses, comedian Alan Carr is one of Britain’s best-loved TV personalities – as well as a close pal of Adele.
His celebrity chat show Alan Carr: Chatty Man is still going strong after 16 seasons, with guests such as Tom Jones, Bette Midler, Rihanna and the boys from One Direction stopping by to sip his lurid cocktails in exchange for their juicy morsels of gossip.
“My own personal favourite is a Pornstar Martini,” he chirrups down the phone a few weeks before his New Zealand debut in August, when he’ll bring his stand-up show Yap, Yap, Yap to our shores.
“Vodka, passionfruit, lime juice and a bit of Prosecco. You get a hangover before you’ve even gone to bed!”
Bed is on Alan’s mind right now as he banters with the Weekly close to midnight in his favourite Peppa Pig pyjamas. But first he wants to get something off his chest… Brexit.
“We’re all up in arms over Brexit,” he sighs. “I voted remain! I thought, ‘It’s a democracy, we have to go with what everyone wants.’ But it’s all been a bit scary! It’s embarrassing, really. The whole world thinks we don’t like foreigners. Britain’s such a great melting pot… it’s such a shame what’s happened. But the world hasn’t fallen in yet.
“Although, it might do,” he muses. “Mars Bars are certainly getting smaller. It’s all kicking off! We got Brexit, we were kicked out of the Euros [soccer tournament] pretty early, then you go to eat a Mars Bar and it’s small. They are getting to fun size, for God’s sake.”
Growing up the son of a former professional footballer-turned-football club manager, Alan always knew he was different and reckons he never even had to come out. His sexuality was always obvious to his friends and family – although he admits his first date at a gay bar, aged 18, was awkward.
Years later, after finding fame and success as a comedian, a date with fellow celebrity fashionista Gok Wan didn’t fare much better.
“I think everyone thought we were both gay so it was a good idea,” he admits. “We went out and got on great but just as friends. Women were literally lifting up their tops for him asking him if they were wearing the right bra! He’s one of the sweetest, loveliest people, but we’re too similar. It would never have worked.”
Happily, Alan’s been dating events planner Paul Drayton (44) for the last seven years, though they won’t be getting married.
“I don’t like weddings, they are so boring!” he insists. “The only way I would do it is for legal reasons, if God forbid, anything happens to me.”
The dog-mad couple live with their “greedy” pampered red setters Bev and Joyce near London’s posh Hyde Park, and count the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge as neighbours.
“I’ve never seen Kate Middleton out walking her dogs, but apparently she does. That would be amazing to walk the dogs with her!” he laughs. “She’d probably get me to clean up her dog poo which I would have to do, because she’s the future queen.”
He admits that he and Paul spoil their pooches rotten, often taking them on road trips down to the Brighton coast.
“Our days revolve around the dogs,” he confesses. “We’re like those parents who move across the country so their kids can go to the best school.”
Paul and his mum feature in Yap, Yap, Yap, much Alan’s his glee.
“I told them if they want all these nice things to continue – posh meals, nice shoes, mum’s conservatory – then they have to be part of my show!”
Alan and partner Paul.
The decision to get personal comes after Alan celebrated turning 40 recently with a “Life is a Carr-baret” themed party, where he dressed like Liza Minnelli’s character Sally Bowles.
“I’ve become much more emotional since turning 40,” he muses. “Maybe it’s just this year – seeing a number of heroes dying… Prince, Victoria Wood, Ronnie Corbett, Alan Rickman, David Bowie, Caroline Aherne. Even when that monkey [gorilla] got shot, I was upset. I don’t know whether I am getting more soft in my old age or whether it’s just a feeling of doom and gloom.”
But he doesn’t want to dwell too long on the sadness. The show must go on. After all, Yap, Yap, Yap is about laughter – and he’s excited to be bringing it Down Under, saying he’s up for whatever New Zealand throws his way – apart from bungee jumping.
“There’s no way!” he squeals. “No way! I think I’ll end up staying firmly on the ground, eating good food and drinking good wine – and cocktails. That’s much more my style.”
Alan Carr performs in Wellington on August 13, Auckland on August 15 and in Christchurch on August 18.
Words: Carmen Lichi
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