She might not be old enough to talk strategy with her sports-obsessed dad or play ninjas with her big brothers, but Sia Trokenheim’s baby girl Tosca has the men in her life under her teeny-tiny thumb.
When Woman’s Day arrives at the Step Dave star’s family home in West Auckland, it’s new mum Sia who’s relegated to the sidelines as hubby Andre, her boy Terenzo, four, and stepson Bruno, 10, dote on the five-month-old bundle.
“Look, Mum, look,” squeals an excited Terenzo. “She’s holding my finger!”
“It just melts your heart, doesn’t it?” says Sia, watching on with pride. “Tosca has brought a real softness to our family. She has this uncanny knack to calm Andre. I’ve never known him to be so chilled as when he gets home from work and holds Tosca in his arms.”
Adds Andre, 38, a national retail manager, “You definitely notice the difference raising a girl. Tosca’s a lot more laid-back. For starters, girls don’t do that,” he laughs, pointing at Terenzo, who is firing a foam bullet across the living room.
Indeed, a wee girl is a novelty in the Trokenheim household. Sia never imagined she’d be the type to go mad for pink or dress her daughter in fancy frills and ruffles, but the Swedish-born actress admits that she’s been shopping up large.
“When I was pregnant, everyone said you’re going to have a little princess,” recalls Sia. “I’d get all uptight and say, ‘Well, she can be whatever she wants to be. She can be strong and brave too.’ But now that she’s here, it’s hard not to spoil her like the princess she is.
“Bruno has other siblings, so he’s used to welcoming new members to the family, and is the most incredible little helper. Terenzo is used to being the littlest. But he just loves Tosca – he loves shushing her like we used to practice with soft toys.
“Having three men to look out for her, however, might just be her blessing and her curse. Her dad’s already said Tosca’s not allowed to date until she moves out of home – when she’s 40!”
Tosca, whose moniker was inspired by the famous opera of the same name, made her way into the world five days earlier than expected on May 27. Although the pregnancy had been smooth, Sia worried she might encounter complications in the delivery room – similar to Terenzo’s birth, which required an emergency Caesarean.
“After a 30-hour labour with Terenzo, doctors made the call to get him out immediately,” tells Sia, 37. “That moment of losing all control as I was being rushed into theatre really spun me out. It wasn’t the peaceful, natural birth story I’d hoped for me and my baby – I was expecting something beautiful and calm, like those idyllic shots you see of new mums on Pinterest.
“I beat myself up for a very long time after Terenzo’s birth,” she confesses. “In some ways, it feels like you’ve failed your first hurdle as a mum. I just desperately wanted that peaceful experience.”
While pregnant with Tosca, the star did her best to prepare herself emotionally in the event she might not deliver naturally again. She read up on breathing and relaxation techniques, and the power of positive thinking. After 15 hours of labour, her little girl was also delivered by emergency C-section. But things were different this time.
“I took control of the situation,” she tells. “When I was lying on the operation table, I thought, ‘Let’s make it a good one.’ I was – and am – at peace with myself! Both my babies are here, they are healthy and happy, and we all know that’s all that matters.
“I’m being a lot kinder to myself. I know a lot more than I did the first time around. I know my limitations – I understand that I’m not going to be supermum all the time and I’m OK with that. I’ve noticed babies feed off your energy, so when I’m happy, Tosca’s happy. She’s always happy – she’s a real little cruiser.”
Having never raised a teenager before, let alone a teenage girl, Sia and Andre suspect their greatest challenges are yet to come. “Right now, she’s the dream, but there’s a lot going on in a girl’s mind and body when they are in their teens,” tells Sia. “I remember what I was like when I was in my teenage years and I commend my parents very much for dealing with me.
“I’m bracing myself that it might be painful, but it’s a few years away yet. I’ll become a confidante and friend, so we are able to navigate those tricky years together – as opposed to on the other side of a slammed door.”
But if there’s one thing Sia’s learned about parenting, it’s cherishing every moment in her children’s lives. “Last time was such a whirlwind of chaos that now when I’m with Tosca, my priority is simply to be present and soak it all up,” she says.
“When I look at her, I’m filled with immeasurable joy. It’s crazy, she’s only five months old, but our bond is unbreakable. I feel like I’ve known her my entire life.”
Meet Tosca Fiorella! The adorable tot was born May 27, joining big brothers Terenzo and and Bruno.
The happy family pose together – from left: Dad Andre, Sia, Tosca, Terenzo and Bruno.
Sia Trokenheim
Terenzo and Bruno dote on their new little sister.
“Tosca has brought a real softness to our family. She has this uncanny knack to calm Andre. I’ve never known him to be so chilled as when he gets home from work and holds Tosca in his arms,” Sia says.
“When I was pregnant, everyone said you’re going to have a little princess,” recalls Sia. “I’d get all uptight and say, ‘Well, she can be whatever she wants to be. She can be strong and brave too.’ But now that she’s here, it’s hard not to spoil her like the princess she is.”
Adds Andre, 38, a national retail manager, “You definitely notice the difference raising a girl. Tosca’s a lot more laid-back.”
“I’m being a lot kinder to myself,” Sia says of welcoming her second child into the world. “I know a lot more than I did the first time around. I know my limitations – I understand that I’m not going to be supermum all the time and I’m OK with that.”
Brotherly love! Bruno and Terenzo cuddle with their little sister.
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