We’re all guilty of getting a little kick out of a friend cancelling on us. You’re all prepared for a night of drinking and catching up, when suddenly they can’t make it.
We should be disappointed, but more often than not we aren’t.
A survey of 2,000 people in the United Kingdom, found that the average Brit makes around 104 social arrangements each year, but will only turn up to around 50.
Carried out by Mentos, the research reveals that we are living in a society where cancellations are normal and almost expected in many cases.
One psychologist has proposed a reason for our flaky behaviour – it’s because secretly we all love to have control.
Cancelling on someone is the ultimate way to feel as if you’re in charge, especially if you feel ‘roped in’ to doing something, Dr Andrea Bonior explains to Refinery29.
But while it might feel good to suddenly have a free evening, other psychologists have pointed out this brief rush is nothing compared to the long term benefits of keeping plans.
In Psychology Today, Dr Brent Roberts explains that certain types of people lack conscientiousness, which means they lack impulse control, organisation and skill at interpersonal relationships.
Sadly for them, their conscientious colleagues are more likely to engage in positive lifestyle choices and end up living longer, happier lives.
They tend to be better at timekeeping, and making sure their diaries are up to date, so are less likely to get overloaded and have to cancel.
And if this alone isn’t enough to force you to go for that drink you promised, it could be worth considering if you have
social anxiety disorder.
Someone with this problem will worry excessively about a social arrangement before, during and after it, and sometimes can feel like it just isn’t worth the hassle attending.
If you have any of the below symptoms, it might be worth having a chat with your GP to see if they can help. They could recommend therapy sessions or medication, in order to combat these feelings.
Being introduced to other people
Being teased or criticized
Being the center of attention
Being watched while doing something
Meeting people in authority (“important people”)
Most social encounters, especially with strangers
Going around the room (or table) in a circle and having to say something
Interpersonal relationships, whether friendships or romantic
If you don’t have these symptoms, but simply can’t seem to stick to a plan – sort it out!
