Money is one of those taboo topics that even long-time friends like to avoid talking about. We might share intimate details about our sex life and battles at work, but so many of us feel uncomfortable discussing money, out of fear it will destroy our friendships.
This is particularly true where large income disparities make it awkward for mates to split the bill over dinner. You know that situation where someone says, “I ordered the chicken skewers and a glass of tap water, you had all that sashimi and top-shelf sake.”
Nothing builds resentment faster than money and politics. But it’s amazing how much importance people attribute to milestone gifts – 30th birthdays, weddings, baby showers – there’s a long list of must-have moments where a woman wants to celebrate in style with her friends.
Failing to afford an ‘appropriate’ gift may leave you feeling judged by others who think the price tag reflects the value of your friendship (remember that scene in Bridesmaids where Annie gives Lillian a box of her favourite things, only to be upstaged by Helen’s TRIP TO PARIS).
So how much could you expect to splash out on a good friend?
Research from TopCashback.co.uk says the average friendship lasting 20 years will set you back NZD$13,839. Stay besties forever and you’ll end up spending NZD$41,763.
In a survey of more that 2000 UK adults, a third of people said they really went to town on milestone occasions, with birthdays alone costing NZD$8,186.
For those in the UK, keeping in touch with friends abroad costs NZD$483 a year – an expensive friendship to maintain, but there’s only so much love and empathy you can share over skype and social media.
Aside from the big events and friends scattered around the world, it’s the little things that add up, like helping a friend through a break-up -NZD$294 – and small gifts to spread some cheer –
NZD$423.
Only six per cent admitted to begrudging the amount they’ve spent, with a whopping 85 per cent saying their relationships are worth more than money.
While it’s a relief that most hold their friendships in higher esteem than their bank balance, being a social butterfly can put serious pressure on your finances.
Many people equate large friendship circles with success, particularly in professions where building contacts is part of your own ‘brand’.
Leading anthropologist Robin Dunbar says the average person has a whopping 150 contacts in their social world (that’s almost NZD$2.1m per year, we did the math).
But you’ll be relieved to know this is the upper limit of acquaintances our brain can cope with. Most people have an inner circle of five friends and a second layer of 10 mates and family members who get invited to important social events.
Seems reasonable but worth contemplating the next time you do a budget. Turns out your BFF costs almost as much as your rent.
Via Closer
