Why, after reaching the age of 50, are women expected to refine their vocabulary? There are scores of articles that tell midlife women what they should and shouldn’t be saying.
Apparently, mature women should no longer use the word “panties”. We’re also supposed to put a lid on swearing and steer clear of all current slang. The kind that apparently doesn’t make us down with the kids.
You may or may not choose to listen, but in the meantime, here are our suggestions for a few words or phrases that everybody could stop using – whether they’re older than 50 or not.
Why is she wearing that?
Who does it help when we judge other women for what they choose to wear? No one. We need to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Who cares if Sandy is wearing leggings? How does it hurt you if Jan is wearing a mini skirt? Younger women are watching. Let’s show them how to do this. Let’s show them that being supportive is preferable to being judgmental and superficial.
Yes and/or no
“Yes” and “no” are powerful and important words. We’re not suggesting you stop using them altogether. But we are suggesting that women stop saying “yes” when we mean “no”, and “no” when we want to say “yes”.
Say no to demands on your time when you have overextended yourself. Or, even if you are not stretched thin and just want to say no. Self-care is important.
Alternately, say yes to adventures. Say yes to “me” time. Say yes to fun. Say yes to offers of care, support and help.
Correctly using the words “yes” and “no” can bring all kinds of peace and tranquility, or joy, to your life.
I can’t
“I can’t” is acceptable when you are asked to work late on the evening you’re catching up with friends for dinner and a movie.
But stop saying “I can’t” to new, fun, challenging, exhilarating, putting-you-out-of-your-comfort-zone experiences.
Be brave and be courageous. We know there is something you still dream of doing or trying. Find your passion, be true to yourself, take time for yourself to pursue the things that matter to you.
We’re not saying that time is running out, but we are saying that time is running.
I’m sorry
Did you hurt someone, inadvertently or on purpose? Physically or emotionally? Then saying “I’m sorry” is only right and appropriate. Are you speaking to someone who suffered a loss? Again, use “I’m sorry”.
When “I’m sorry” is not appropriate is when you aren’t really sorry.
If you start a sentence with “I’m sorry” and end with something unkind like “but Janice in accounting looks like she puts her make-up on with a putty knife”, then you aren’t sorry. You’re being mean.
Don’t say “sorry” when asking for help or when you disagree with someone. We don’t have to apologise for reaching out to people when we need them, and we don’t have to apologise for having an opinion.
